Still It Has Only Just Begun
by Lady Galadriel
Summary: Deathly Hallows AU. Recently appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts by Voldemort, Severus Snape is given a mission that is vital to the Dark Lord's plans. To aid him in this task, he assigns Snape a partner who proves to be far more than what she seems. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Obligatory Disclaimer: **Characters that are not obviously mine belong to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **Rated M for adult content later in the story. Although it's not explicit, I didn't want to take a chance with a T rating. Also, please review; both comments and criticisms are welcome. I'm kind of taking this fic for a test drive, so to speak, to see what kind of responses I get.

Thanks,

~Lady Galadriel

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"_Time for dinner, Nagini…"_

The great snake slithered onto the large wooden table and gulped down the remains of Charity Burbage. The Death Eaters seated at the table watched in repressed revulsion as the snake fed and then slid away into the shadows, its body engorged.

"Such is the fate for all who oppose us," Lord Voldemort spoke in a soft, lethal voice. His red eyes gleamed in malice as he observed the faces of his followers and took pleasure in their obvious nervousness.

"Now go, all of you—except for Snape."

Severus Snape remained in his seat next to the Dark Lord, his expression passive but his mind questioning. What did the Dark Lord want of him? he wondered.

When the Death Eaters had left the room and the doors were shut, Voldemort leaned back in his chair languidly, tracing a long fingernail along the ornate design carved in the table. "You are one of my most loyal servants, Severus," he stated. "Despite your close relationship to that fool Dumbledore, I have never had any reason to doubt your service to me."

"I'm glad you are pleased, my Lord," Snape replied.

Voldemort continued: "With the Ministry in my grasp, I will be able to extend my power fully into Hogwarts. I am going to have you appointed as Headmaster."

Snape looked genuinely surprised, as if he had not expected this. "My Lord, I am honored."

Voldemort gave a chilly smile. "You should not be so surprised, Severus. Whom else would I trust for such an important task? Besides, I cannot afford to let McGonagall take over. Hogwarts must be controlled, especially those who are still loyal to Potter.

"No doubt you will be able to control quite a bit of the rebellion on your own, but I would not put you into such a position, especially when I will have other…_important_ tasks for you. I will be placing the Carrows at Hogwarts as professors."

Snape's black eyes glittered. "What of Draco Malfoy, my Lord? I'm sure the boy may prove some use in reporting any resistance and unwanted activity among the students."

The Dark Lord made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "The Malfoys grow more out of my favor and less useful. I can no longer trust them with the simplest task—not even their boy." He fell silent for a moment, then his eyes seem to alight, as if a thought had just occurred to him. "No, Severus, you will be given more suitable aid than that arrogant, foolish child."

***

Two weeks had passed when Snape was once again summoned to Malfoy Manor. The sun was just beginning to set below the horizon when he arrived. When he entered the front hall, he felt an intense anger wash over him. Clearly, the Dark Lord was still enraged over yet another failed attempt at killing Harry Potter. He gave a brief nod to the Death Eaters stationed like sentries at the drawing room doors and entered the dimly lit room.

Voldemort was again seated at the head of the drawing room table, Nagini curled around his shoulders. Lucius Malfoy, his wife Narcissa, and Bellatrix Lestrange also sat at the table, their faces tight and pale with fear. Snape saw that, once again, the seat to the right of Voldemort was left empty, and he took his place next to the Dark Lord.

"Well, Severus, I have once again failed to kill Potter," said Voldemort in a low voice, his tone barely suppressing his rage. He threw the broken pieces of Lucius Malfoy's wand onto the table in contempt. Snape watched as Lucius' face contorted in dread.

"Meanwhile, you have failed me yet again, Lucius," Voldemort hissed. "I am beginning to question whether or not you are loyal to me at all."

"M-my Lord," Lucius stuttered, his face drawn and haggard. "Please, I had no idea this would happen—"

Voldemort held up his hand and silenced him. "Do not grovel, Lucius. It's pathetic." It was obvious, however, that he took great pleasure in seeing Lucius in such a weak position. "Since I can no longer trust your ability to serve me well, I will not be sending your son to Hogwarts to help Severus."

Bellatrix's head shot up, her expression full of horror and dismay. "My Lord," she implored, "please do not disregard our service to you. Allow us to once more prove our loyalty!"

Voldemort gave her an icy smile. "So eager, Bellatrix, and yet you continue to fail me. But do not fear, perhaps soon you shall have a second chance. This task, however, I have given to another."

At that moment, a commotion erupted from the hallway beyond the drawing room. A woman's angry voice was heard: "Back away, you fools; this house belongs to me just as much as Lucius."

The doors to the drawing room flung open, revealing a tall, imposing woman, with several confused Death Eaters standing behind her. She was blonde and pale, with dark hazel eyes. She entered the room, her emerald robes and black cloak billowing around her as she walked, and with a casual wave of her hand shut the doors again. She stopped before the ornate table, opposite of the Dark Lord, and bowed reverently.

"My Lord," she greeted humbly.

"Ah, Morticia," Voldemort responded, clearly pleased. "I am glad you were able to answer my summons so quickly. I hope it did not cause you any inconvenience."

"No service to you is ever an inconvenience, my Lord," Morticia said—a clear display of flattery.

Bellatrix glared darkly at the woman, while Lucius seemed to become increasingly anxious. Snape did not immediately recognize the woman, but her resemblance to Lucius was apparent: she was Morticia Blackwood, Lucius' older sister.

"Of all my followers, Morticia, you and your husband have always been among the most faithful," Voldemort said. "I have never doubted your loyalty, and your service has always exceeded my expectations."

Snape could see the glowing pride in Morticia's eyes, but she stood passively as the Dark Lord spoke. Meanwhile, Bellatrix's glowering increased tenfold.

Voldemort paused for a brief moment, then asked softly, "How does your daughter fare, Morticia?"

"She is well, my Lord," Morticia replied. "She is currently abroad in Germany."

"I understand that she works in the field of potions."

"Yes, my Lord."

"And where does her allegiance lie?" His red eyes glinted.

"I cannot speak for her personally, my Lord, but I have taught her to remain faithful to her pure blood."

Voldemort nodded. "No doubt you have heard of your brother's numerous failures?"

Morticia appeared to clench her jaw. She cast a withering glance at Lucius. "I have."

"I wish to bring your daughter into my services, Morticia. I have important plans at Hogwarts that I cannot trust your nephew, nor indeed anyone else, to fulfill."

"Of course, my Lord. When do you wish to speak with her?"

"Bring her before me in three days. I am sure that will be enough time, yes?"

"Yes, my Lord."

Voldemort smiled in satisfaction. "Good. Your service is much appreciated, Morticia. Now leave, I wish to speak to Severus."

The Malfoys and Bellatrix stood and left the room. Morticia was the last to leave and closed the doors behind her. When she faced her brother Lucius in the hallway she immediately slapped him across the face.

"You imbecile," Morticia hissed. "You have disgraced our family name again and again—you and your wife's ill-bred family," she added, casting glares at both Narcissa and Bellatrix.

Lucius gritted his teeth. "Enough, Morticia," he replied. "It has not been easy—"

"Do not feed me that load of shit, Lucius," Morticia spat. "You have brought this upon yourself; you have always claimed more loyalty than you were willing to prove to the Dark Lord. Now you must suffer for it, and I am left to clean up the mess."

She took a deep breath and composed herself, quelling her anger temporarily. "Have a care in your actions from now on, Lucius," she warned. "The Dark Lord will only tolerate so much of your foolishness. Next time, I will stand back and allow you and your family to be fed to the wolves." With a smirk, she added, "Perhaps one of them will be your new nephew, Narcissa." Without another word, she left the Manor.

***

The argument was easily heard in the drawing room through the closed doors. Voldemort gave an amused chuckle.

But the Dark Lord's expression became quite solemn as he started to speak to Snape. "I have endured many failures at the hands of Potter, Severus," he began. His red eyes glowed like coals in anger. "My every attempt to kill him has either been foiled through either my own blunder or by sheer luck. I can suffer it no longer."

Voldemort remained silent for a few moments. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above that of a hissing whisper. "The failure of Lucius' wand was, indeed, unexpected. Yet the wand was a reflection of its owner: weak and easily broken under pressure. I must find another wand, one that will be powerful enough to defeat Potter." He paused yet again, then looked directly at Snape. "Severus, you know of my link to Potter. Is it possible that he is using it to his advantage?"

Snape's expression was calm but slightly puzzled. "What do you mean, my Lord?"

"Is it possible that Potter is using the link to drain my power from me?"

"I honestly do not know, my Lord."

Voldemort studied Snape's face for several moments. Snape remained as placid as ever; he was indeed being truthful. Satisfied, the Dark Lord gave a brief nod.

"I cannot be certain, but I believe that is what's happening. Every day that passes, I feel as though my strength has diminished, while Potter seems to only grow stronger. I want to end this, Severus. I have heard of potions that will block one's strength from being stolen. It is commonly used in defense against vampires. That is what Potter is, Severus, a vampire on my power. I want you to devise a potion that will block him from stealing what is rightfully mine."

Snape nodded. "I have heard of such potions, my Lord. But it might prove difficult to create such a powerful potion in a short time, especially now with my obligations as Headmaster."

"That is why I have summoned Morticia Blackwood's daughter," Voldemort said. "I have heard she is quite skilled in potion-making. She will work with you in creating this potion for me.

"Be here again in three days, Severus. I want you to meet the girl."

As Snape left Malfoy Manor, he mulled over in his mind the Dark Lord's order. He could hardly fathom where the Dark Lord had come up with such an idea; it was ridiculous. Even if the possibility existed, Potter certainly did not have the wits to use it to his advantage.

Furthermore, he did not need some chit of a girl "helping" him with his work. No doubt she would prove no more useful than Draco Malfoy.

He returned to Hogwarts, his mood now fouled.

***

Three days later, Snape waited in the drawing room with Lord Voldemort for the arrival of Morticia Blackwood and her daughter. Though it was only midday, Snape could see that the Dark Lord was getting increasingly impatient.

Finally, Snape heard their arrival in the front hall. A knock sounded at the door.

"Enter," Lord Voldemort responded.

The doors opened and Morticia Blackwood entered, followed by a young woman, the hood of her cloak drawn over her face.

"My Lord, allow me to introduce my daughter, Selene."

The young woman stepped forward and pulled back her hood. She was extraordinarily beautiful. She bowed to Voldemort.

"My Lord."

Voldemort beckoned her forward with a long, pointed finger. Snape, though his expression was nonplussed, could not help but watch Morticia's daughter as she gracefully walked across the room and stood at Voldemort's side. He had never been so taken aback by a woman's beauty; he'd always looked upon women with either indifference or disdain. She was young, perhaps in her early twenties, slender, with long ebon hair and smooth, pearly skin. She wore robes of dark violet embroidered with silver thread. But the most captivating feature of this young woman was her eyes: pools of icy silver-blue, like the moon on a winter's night.

"Please, sit down, Miss Blackwood," Voldemort said softly. "Morticia, please leave us."

Morticia smiled, bowed, and left the room, closing the doors behind her.

The young woman, Selene, sat down and met Lord Voldemort's gaze, her expression surprisingly calm. The two stared at each other for several long moments, until Voldemort gave a sinister chuckle.

"You are quite skilled in Occlumency, Miss Blackwood," he said. "Where did you attend school?"

"Durmstrang, my Lord," she replied. Her voice was clear and melodious.

"What areas did you specialize in?"

"I excelled in Potions and the Dark Arts."

Voldemort held out his hand. "May I see your wand, Miss Blackwood?"

Selene removed her wand from her sleeve and handed it to him. The Dark Lord held it to the light and examined it. "What is its core?"

"Dragon heartstring, my Lord. Willow, thirteen inches."

As Voldemort examined her wand, Snape also carefully studied the young woman herself, seated across from him. Her calmness had not broken at any time while Lord Voldemort questioned her—impressive for a woman her age. She seemed to possess an exterior of ice that not even Voldemort could penetrate.

After several moments, Voldemort handed Selene back her wand. "A very fine wand, Miss Blackwood."

She nodded. "Thank you, my Lord."

"Ah, but where are my manners?" Voldemort gestured to Snape. "Miss Blackwood, this is Severus Snape, Headmaster of Hogwarts and one of my most loyal Death Eaters."

Selene's ice-blue eyes met Snape's black ones. He held her gaze for only a brief moment before giving a curt nod of greeting.

"As Headmaster, Snape will be carrying out my plans at Hogwarts," Voldemort continued. "Although two of my other Death Eaters will be joining him, I'm quite sure their authority will be frequently challenged by those who do not support us. Unfortunately, your cousin is too mentally incapable to handle such a task, let alone complete his education. I would like you to take his place instead, Miss Blackwood, and join my service."

Selene did not hesitate. "I accept, my Lord. I offer my service to your will."

The Dark Lord grinned wickedly. "Very good, Miss Blackwood. Very good indeed." He stroked the top of Nagini's head as the snake curled around his arm.

"I also require something else of you, Miss Blackwood. Your mother has told me a great deal of your skills with potions. In fact, you do a great deal of commission work as your means of employment. It would seem at the very least, Severus, that she is your equal," Voldemort added.

"My Lord, I feel my mother may exaggerate my skill—" Selene began. She stopped short when Voldemort held up a small glass vial filled with a bluish liquid that shimmered strangely. Snape raised an eyebrow, unsure of what the contents of the vial were. He had never seen a potion of such color before.

"Given what this potion is capable of doing, I sincerely doubt your mother was exaggerating, Miss Blackwood," Voldemort replied in a low, deadly voice. For a brief second, Snape saw a flicker of nervousness cross Selene's face, but it was gone in an instant.

"I am entrusting to both of you a task that is of the utmost importance to me," the Dark Lord said quietly. "As I have already told Severus, I fear my power is being drained from me, Miss Blackwood. I have a strange, personal link to Harry Potter, and I think he may be using it to weaken me. While you are at Hogwarts, I want you and Severus to procure a severing potion, one that will close the link and block Potter."

Selene's eyes flickered to meet Snape's. "I'm certain we can come up with something that will please you, my Lord."

Voldemort smiled, his thin lips stretched across his snakelike face. He reached out and caressed Selene's face with a long finger. She did not even flinch. "Such a beautiful pureblood creature, wouldn't you agree, Severus? Even in her youth she knew the weakness and brutality of Muggles; she understood that they are pathetic and worthless creatures. Yes," he continued, his voice almost purring with satisfaction. "I believe you will be most useful to me, Miss Blackwood.

"Severus, see to it that you bring Miss Blackwood to Hogwarts as soon as the arrangements for her stay are made. Miss Blackwood, I expect that you will stay here until that time."

Both Selene and Snape nodded in acquiescence to Voldemort's commands. He dismissed them and they exited the room. The Manor was quiet and cold, almost lifeless, like a tomb. Even the warm sunshine and the open air of the outside could hardly chase away the gloom that had settled over the Manor.

Snape and Selene walked out of the Manor and through the front gardens, side-by-side.

"I will arrive on the twenty-fifth to bring you to Hogwarts," Snape told her, his voice devoid of any emotion. "I trust that gives you plenty of time to prepare yourself."

"More than enough," she responded. "Given the nature of my work, I keep myself ready to leave at a moment's notice, if I must."

"Don't underestimate the difficulty of this task, Miss Blackwood," he said sharply in a voice that he often used with his students. "A severing potion of this magnitude is extremely complex, almost impossible to achieve, and the Dark Lord requires perfection. Cockiness amounts to nothing if you are not equal to the task."

Selene stopped walking and turned to face Snape. She looked up and held his gaze as boldly as she had held Voldemort's, her eyes shining strange and ethereal.

"And don't underestimate me, Professor Snape," she replied, her voice low and cool, "simply because of my age."

The two stared at each other for a few moments until Snape bowed his head and spoke. "Very well," he said softly. "Good day, Miss Blackwood."

"Good day, Professor." She turned and Disapparated.


	2. Chapter 2

Night had already fallen when Selene arrived at her cottage in the middle of Germany's Black Forest. The cottage was completely dark when she entered it, but she immediately sensed the presence that sat at her kitchen table.

"Hello, Mother," Selene greeted.

"_Incendio_!" a voice declared. Instantly, a fire alighted in the stone fireplace, revealing Morticia Blackwood. She looked quite pleased.

"It is an honor to our family for you to be in service to the Dark Lord," she remarked. "Considering the amount of time you spoke with him, he must have asked something important of you."

"It seems that I'm to go to Hogwarts," Selene said as she removed her cloak, "as an aid to Severus Snape."

Morticia smiled knowingly. "Come now, daughter, I know better than that. The Dark Lord asked me specifically of your work with potions."

"I noticed." She sat down at the table opposite her mother. "It's nothing that I can talk about."

Morticia nodded, then took a brief glance around the cottage. "You're quite hidden away, Selene. I noticed it took several tries before I could Apparate here and then even longer before I could find the cottage. It's almost as if you don't want to be found."

"Perhaps I don't."

Morticia's expression soured at that comment, but she did not respond to it. Her daughter had always been secluded, always withdrawn, even from her family. Instead, she asked, "What are your plans?"

"I'll stay here for a few more days and organize some things," said Selene. "Then I'll move my belongings to Malfoy Manor and stay there until the twenty-fifth, when Severus Snape will take me to Hogwarts."

Her mother's eyes glowed in the firelight. "Take advantage of this opportunity, Selene. The Dark Lord can bestow upon you great power if you prove worthy. Do not let our family down." Morticia stood, gave her daughter a brief kiss on her cheek and departed.

In the dim light, Selene rolled her eyes in disgust. With a flick of her wand, she lit the candles around the cottage, filling her small home with light. She then put the kettle on the fire for tea.

Morticia had never understood her daughter. Selene held allegiance to no one, not even to the Dark Lord, contrary to her earlier pledge. She cared only for herself, relied on no one, and was quite sure that, even if she and Snape managed to create such a potion, it would hardly give the Dark Lord any advantage over the resistance that faced him. The only reason why she agreed was because she knew she had no choice: anyone who refused the Dark Lord, even if they did not support his enemies, met a swift end. Selene was not quite ready to welcome death, not after all she'd done to survive.

As she prepared her tea and a simple dinner, she recalled that brief moment with Severus Snape in the gardens. He wasn't particularly an attractive man, with his lanky, shoulder-length black hair, his crooked nose, his scraggly goatee, and his lean, sallow face. His eyes were dark and void, but she sensed that he was not what he appeared. True, she'd heard he had killed Albus Dumbledore, but Snape did not possess the cold eyes of a murderer.

She knew the look of such eyes, even before she looked upon Lord Voldemort.

***

The morning of August twenty-fifth dawned bright and calm. Selene greeted it eagerly, for her three weeks' stay at Malfoy Manor had barely been tolerable. Even though the Dark Lord was not frequently present in the Manor, the house was still hollow and dismal. She'd often spent her time in the gardens, poring over books and notes to prepare herself for the Dark Lord's task, and dreaded dining with her mother's family. The Malfoys were as lifeless as their house, the strains of their anxieties ever-present in their faces.

Selene was packed and ready long before Snape arrived at mid-morning. She was again in the garden, making notes on a piece of parchment regarding the properties of mugwort and salamander blood, when Snape approached her.

She looked up at him. "Good morning, Professor."

Her eyes were bright silver; the morning sun reflected on her dark hair, making it shine like silk.

"Good morning, Miss Blackwood," he replied coolly. "I presume you are ready?"

She nodded and folded the parchment, then placed it in the book as a bookmark. She then walked ahead into Malfoy Manor, while Snape followed. With her wand, she Summoned her belongings to the front hall and pulled her traveling cloak over her shoulders.

Meanwhile, Lucius and Narcissa joined them. Though he had never been close to his niece, Lucius still felt it proper to bid her goodbye. After a brief exchange and farewell, Snape and Selene exited the Manor, Selene's trunk trailing behind in midair.

When they had stepped beyond the Malfoy grounds, Snape addressed Selene: "Since you've never been to Hogwarts, we'll have to use Side-Along Apparition. What's more, we cannot directly Apparate onto the Hogwarts grounds but we have to go through Hogsmeade." He held out his arm to Selene. "Grab a hold of your trunk."

She did so and also took hold of Snape's arm. With a distinct "pop," they Disapparated.

When the darkness of Apparating faded, Selene looked around and saw that they had arrived on the outskirts of a small village. The air was surprisingly cool and quiet; hardly any of the townspeople were about. Snape broke from her grasp and began to walk down a dirt path, not bothering to wait. Selene quickly enchanted her trunk and followed, slightly annoyed.

After a brief walk, Hogwarts appeared before them. It was an impressive castle, warm and welcoming, as opposed to the darkness and chill of Durmstrang. They passed through the main doors into the Entrance Hall. The school, still uninhabited by students, was quite hushed; the noise of their presence echoed throughout the hall.

"This way, Miss Blackwood," Snape directed.

Selene followed him wordlessly throughout a myriad of staircases and hallways. Occasionally, her attention was captured by the inhabitant of one of the moving portraits, who regarded her curiously but shortly after went about his or her business.

"I do not have the time or patience to play your personal guide," Snape said. "I'm quite sure that you're as capable as a first-year student of finding your way around eventually." He stopped at the top of a flight of steps and was forced to wait, for the staircases had begun to move and change. Selene looked about in surprise; she'd never seen staircases so enchanted before. Once they had stopped moving, Snape continued walking.

"I will, however," Snape resumed, "show you to my office and to the dungeons, where we will be working. Afterwards, it is up to you to find your own way." Finally, Snape stopped before a dark oak door on what must have been the seventh floor. With a flick of his wand, he opened the door and stepped aside to allow Selene to enter.

The room was simple yet beautiful. It was on the southeastern side of the castle and thus well-lit, with a window seat built into the largest window of the room. She had a large canopy bed, a bureau, an armchair, couch, table, and bookcase, all made of dark oak wood. There was also a small fireplace, the perfect size for her cauldron, if necessary. Though she could tell no one had resided here in quite some time, the room was clean and comfortable.

"If you're quite ready, Miss Blackwood," she heard Snape say impatiently.

Selene directed her trunk and set it down on the floor, next to her bed. After closing the door behind her, she then followed Snape out of the room and down the hall. They turned a few more corridors until they reached the end of the hall and faced a large stone gargoyle.

"This is my office," Snape pointed out. "The password is 'witchwood.' Now, I'll show you the dungeons where we will be working."

Selene held her tongue; being dragged every which way around the castle was beginning to tax her nerves. They went all the way back down to the Entrance Hall and through a door next to the marble staircase. Soon they were in the dark, dank dungeons where Snape had previously taught Potions. He led her into his former office, which he still used for his personal supplies.

"I have some duties I must attend to," he told her, "but in the meantime you may work here, if you wish. You'll find my personal stores in that cabinet, as well as numerous spell books. Otherwise, you are free to journey about the castle. I'll expect you tomorrow morning at my office at nine o'clock sharp." With a nod of his head, he turned and left.

Selene glared after him. _How infuriating_, she thought darkly. But her curiosity for his store of supplies overcame her aggravation. She opened the cabinet doors, revealing shelves filled with organized, labeled jars of ingredients.

Most of the jars contained basic supplies: dried nettles, wormwood, mandrake, jobberknoll feathers, and the like. However, there were several jars and containers that caught her eye, rarities that even she did not own: powdered Longhorn dragon horns, Re'em blood, and Runespoor eggs. She stared in amazement and decided at one point that she'd have to discuss with Snape where he acquired such items.

She then began to peruse through his various spell books, again, most of which she owned. In some instances there were notes scribbled in the margins, but she could not discern the writing. As she studied, her mind was constantly working, thinking of numerous ingredients and combinations that could prove effective for the Dark Lord's potion. At one point she searched and found a quill and spare parchment on the desk and began to jot down her thoughts and ideas.

Selene easily lost track of time. It wasn't until her stomach growled quite noticeably when she broke her concentration and considered returning upstairs to the rest of the castle. She marked her page in the book she was currently reading, stored her notes in the pocket of her robe, and made her way up the stairs out of the damp dungeons.

The Entrance Hall was filled with the dim, warm light of the fading sun. As Selene ascended the stairs, she was suddenly faced by a tall, severe-looking woman coming out of a door flanked by two stone gargoyles. She had dark hair, pulled back into a tight bun, and wore emerald robes. She approached Selene, looking sternly at her over the rims of her square spectacles.

"You are Selene Blackwood, I presume?" the woman asked primly.

"I am," Selene affirmed.

The woman stuck out her hand, which Selene took and shook. "Professor Minerva McGonagall."

"Pleased to meet you, Professor," Selene responded politely. She could tell at once that McGonagall did not care for her presence, either because of her name or her association with Snape—or both.

The introduction was followed by an awkward silence, which was soon interrupted by the growling of Selene's stomach. McGonagall's lips gave a slight quirk.

"I take it Professor Snape failed to give you a decent tour of the castle, let alone provide you with any supper," she commented. Though it was subtle, Selene detected a deep animosity in McGonagall's attitude towards Snape.

McGonagall gestured for Selene to follow her with a wave of her hand. "This way, Miss Blackwood," she said, and led Selene back through the door from which she had come.

The room was a large, paneled chamber, with a table and about a dozen dark, mismatched chairs. At the end of the room was a large wardrobe, the same dark color as the chairs.

"This is the Staff Room," McGonagall told her. "Since the academic year has not started and most of the staff remain on the premises during the summer, meals are taken in here. Otherwise, once the students arrive, meals are served in the Great Hall." She took her wand from her sleeve and asked Selene, "What strikes your fancy for supper?"

Selene shrugged. "Whatever's most readily available, I suppose," she answered.

"Steak and kidney pie sound all right?"

Selene nodded. McGonagall waved her wand and on the table produced the dinner.

"It's a simple enchantment," she explained. "Hogwarts is maintained by House Elves, who take care of all the cleaning and meals for the students and staff. All you do is merely request what you'd like to eat." She motioned for Selene to sit down, a gesture Selene promptly followed and began to eat.

McGonagall also seated herself across from Selene, and for good measure conjured a pot of tea and two cups. Selene suspected, however, that McGonagall merely wanted to study her to determine her purpose at Hogwarts. No doubt McGonagall believed that Selene was in league with Voldemort. And she, as rightful Headmistress, refused to give up any control over Hogwarts without a fight.

"Tea?" McGonagall offered with forced politeness.

"Certainly," Selene responded just as politely.

They sat in silence while Selene finished her dinner and McGonagall sipped her tea. Eventually, however, it seemed there was no longer any more time or excuses for pretense.

"Allow me to come right out and say it, Miss Blackwood," McGonagall began briskly. She kept Selene's eyes fixed to hers in a hard stare, which Selene returned unnerved. "While I do not know the intentions of your employment here at Hogwarts, I am fairly certain I know who sent you here in the first place. I will warn you now, I will not tolerate any abuse of my students or of my fellow staff for whatever…_services_ you are rendering to your _employer_." Her lips were set tightly against each other as she fought to keep her temper.

Selene remained calm, her expression unreadable. "I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about, Professor McGonagall," she answered pleasantly. "I'm merely here conducting research with Professor Snape for my employer in Germany."

"_Dann sprechen Sie Deutsch_?"

Selene couldn't help but smile a little. "_Ja, fließend_. _Ich kann auch Französisch, Italienisch, und Russisch sprechen_," she replied with a flawless German accent.

The corners of McGonagall's mouth twitched in amusement. "Touché, Miss Blackwood." She stood from the table and straightened her robes. "I welcome you to Hogwarts, Miss Blackwood, but do take care in your actions here. These are difficult times and you would be wise not to involve yourself in the wrong circle." With that, McGonagall bid her good day and left the Staff Room.

Selene finished her tea and regarded the dregs thoughtfully. McGonagall's words had an ominous feel to them, but Selene knew what she was getting into and frankly had no choice in the matter. Yet she had learned long ago that it was best not to try and predict the future, but rather take each day one at a time.

***

It took Selene nearly half an hour to find her way back to her bedchambers. Though she recalled most of the route that Snape had taken her along, she became easily confused by the constantly changing staircases and corridors. Eventually, at the peak of her frustration, she found the dark oak door of her rooms.

Once inside, she found the room well-lit with lamps and a small fire in the fireplace to ward off the chill of the early evening. With a wave of her wand, she whispered, "_Colloportus_," and locked the door. She then removed her robes and, wearing only a midnight blue shift, began to unpack her trunk.

With the use of an Undetectable Extension Charm, Selene managed to pack a great deal of her belongings, especially rare books and other items that were of considerable importance to her. She also carried a decent stock of ingredients for potions, along with her cauldron, dragon hide gloves, and numerous glass vials. Most important, however, was a black leather-bound book, about the size of a normal spell book. Within it were Selene's own potions, created and perfected over the course of the last fourteen years.

After she'd removed her clothing as well as a few additional items, she added a bit of water to her cauldron, placed it over the fire, and took out several jars of ingredients from the trunk. Once the water had begun boiling, she added the ingredients: powdered moonstone, syrup of hellebore, wormwood, and valerian root. She then let the mixture simmer, watching as it gradually turned from a deep blackish-blue to cerulean.

It was one of Selene's own creations, a powerful concoction designed to soothe even the most troubled mind. It forced the drinker's anxieties deep into the recesses of their subconscious, away from recognition. It was the only way Selene had managed to survive the past fourteen years.

When she deemed the potion ready, she ladled some into a cup, allowed it to cool for a moment, then drank it down dutifully. The rest she bottled and stored safely; even though the potion was most effective when fresh, it never hurt to keep some handy for emergencies.

As she waited for the potion to take effect, she sat at the window and gazed out onto the grounds. The sky was darkening and already she could detect the faint twinkle of a few stars. The view of the nearby forest and lake was lovely and quite picturesque; at Durmstrang she had always been surrounded by the cold, snowy mountains. If the circumstances of her life had been different, perhaps she might have attended school at Hogwarts instead. Perhaps she may have even learned to tolerate Snape's maddening attitude. Doubtful, of course, but the thought of it was still nice.

Soon, Selene realized, she would need to take her potion regularly. With Snape's arrogance and the Dark Lord breathing down her neck, her emotional stability was easily liable to diminish. It was necessary if she was to maintain any semblance of calmness and sanity.

She soon began to feel lightheaded and pleasantly high: the effects of her potion. She stumbled into her bed, lay beneath the covers, and waited for the blissful nothingness of sleep to overtake her.

***

Snape was sitting in his office skimming through several rolls of parchment, most of which was Hogwarts business. He signed a few slips of paper, threw the rest into a pile, and leaned back in his chair, his hands pressed together pensively.

For reasons that he couldn't even begin to comprehend, he was fascinated by Selene Blackwood. She was beautiful, intelligent, and yet she seemed to be composed of pure ice. Unlike most people, who wore their emotions quite plainly on their face, she revealed nothing, betrayed none of her thoughts. Her eyes were also strikingly eerie, as if she could see into the depths of his very soul. Quite suddenly he feared that he would not be able to withstand their gaze for too long.

A brisk knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. Before he could respond, McGonagall entered the room, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed.

"Good evening, Minerva," Snape greeted smoothly.

She gave a jerked nod of acknowledgement as she approached his desk. He expected nothing less of her—in fact, he was surprised that she was even this civil—given the events of the past summer. He knew she would like nothing better than to see him dead and rotting.

"I met Selene Blackwood earlier today," she said stiffly, sitting in the chair before his desk. "I understand she's here doing research."

Snape refrained from showing any surprise. He hadn't expected Selene to be clever enough to form her own alibi; apparently he'd underestimated her. "Yes, she is," Snape assented, keeping his tone neutral.

"You might have spoken to the staff about this first."

Snape shrugged. "I didn't think it was necessary, given that she will not be interfering with the work of the staff or the students."

McGonagall leaned forward, her eyes bright with restrained anger. "Don't think I don't know the real reason why she's here—I know where your true allegiance lies, Severus," she said, her voice low and harsh. "You killed Dumbledore, an act that is unforgivable under any circumstances. You betrayed the Order and allowed the Dark Lord's Death Eaters to escape—you've even 'hired' two of them as professors!" Her face was quickly turning a dark shade of red. "This will not last, Severus. I will fight against you all the way, and you can tell your _master_ the same." She stood abruptly and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Snape barely managed to swallow the mass of sickening feelings that arose from McGonagall's words. He knew she would never understand Dumbledore's sacrifice, _his_ sacrifice.

"One day she will understand, Severus," a voice spoke kindly from behind him.

Snape turned in his chair and faced the portrait of Albus Dumbledore. Just as in real life, the former Headmaster regarded him with kind, bright blue eyes from behind half-moon spectacles.

"I'm sorry that you have to bear this burden," Dumbledore continued, "but you must remember that you did what you had to do. It couldn't have been prevented."

Snape said nothing. It didn't matter how much reassurance Dumbledore's memory offered him. He'd bear the heavy weight of that guilt for the rest of his life.

Sensing Snape's thoughts, Dumbledore changed the subject. "Selene Blackwood," he repeated thoughtfully. "I know that name. Who is she?"

"The daughter of Morticia Blackwood, Lucius Malfoy's sister," Snape responded. "The Dark Lord sent her here to supposedly help me with the severing potion." He waved his hand dismissively. "She may be clever and skilled, but I doubt she'll be of much use. I should be able to postpone the Dark Lord's potion for at least a couple months."

"Is she a Death Eater?"

Snape shook his head. "The Dark Lord just brought her into his service. But I can't tell whether or not she truly supports him."

"Be wary then," Dumbledore advised. "Don't make any assumptions until you know for sure what she's capable of."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I'm glad to see the story is getting some hits, so I hope you're all enjoying it. ^_^ Please feel free to leave any comments!

~Lady Galadriel

**************

Selene was awoken the next morning by the warm sunlight shining through the window onto her face. She felt quite groggy and numb; perhaps she'd made the potion stronger than she intended. After a few moments, however, her head began to clear. Slowly she recognized the lack of emotion with which she had become so familiar the past fourteen years. She stayed in bed for a few more moments, enjoying the floating listlessness of her thoughts, then washed and dressed herself.

Just a few moments before nine o'clock, Selene stood before the stone gargoyle at the end of the seventh floor corridor.

"Witchwood," she told it. The gargoyle swung aside and the wall split in two to reveal a spiral stone staircase. As she moved onto the first stair, she jerked in bewilderment; the staircase wound her upwards like an escalator, bringing her to a polished oak door. There was a brass knocker in the shape of a griffin, which she promptly took hold of and rapped against the door.

"Enter," a voice spoke.

She entered a large, circular room, dimly lit, with a large fireplace, couch, armchair, and shelves stocked with jars and containers. Before her sat Snape at the enormous Headmaster's desk, his head bent down as he wrote on a long roll of parchment. On the wall behind him was an empty portrait, as well as a shelf on which rested a rather worn, pointed hat. Also around the room were various other moving portraits of former Headmasters. A few of them were still snoozing, while some of them glanced at her curiously.

Since Snape didn't make any motion to acknowledge her presence, Selene distracted herself by studying the room. There were all sorts of things contained in the jars, including potion ingredients and the preserved body parts of an assortment of creatures. While most would have been disturbed at the morbidity of the collection, Selene was fascinated by it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Snape watched as Selene wandered around the room. He was slightly surprised that she was not repulsed by the contents of the jars but actually studied them with genuine curiosity. Indeed, she was not what he expected at all—when the Dark Lord said his aid would not be an arrogant, foolish child, he spoke truly. Yet he could not be certain this young woman wasn't as cruel as the Dark Lord's other followers. Did she truly align herself with Voldemort, or did she bend to his command unwillingly?

Snape tossed aside the rest of the papers and cleared his throat loudly. Selene noticed and turned to him. He gestured wordlessly to the chair on the other side of his desk and she sat down.

"I heard you met Professor McGonagall yesterday," Snape began casually. "What is this 'research' that you are supposedly conducting?"

"For my employer in Germany," Selene replied easily. "I'm on assignment here to research possible components in order to develop an Acuity Enhancing Draught."

Snape raised an eyebrow. Either he had never before heard of this potion—highly doubtful—or she had just made it up. He assumed the latter. "And what, pray tell, is an Acuity Enhancing Draught?"

"It's a potion meant to enhance mental faculties and the physical senses. My employer is an amateur golfer but quite the sore loser. He's tired of losing bets to his associates at every game they play."

"Quite a clever fabrication, Miss Blackwood," Snape stated, without the implication of a compliment. "Yet I must warn you not to misjudge the intelligence of the other professors simply because they are not specialized in the field of potions. McGonagall is a well-known member of the Order of the Phoenix and I certainly would not doubt at this point if the rest of the staff was involved in the Order as well. Remember that you will always be regarded with suspicion, and one false step can easily become your downfall."

"I'll keep that in mind," Selene replied.

"I should very much hope so," Snape said curtly, "The last thing we need is members of the Order catching wind of our plans due to a blundering error."

Selene held her tongue. It was quite obvious that he doubted her ability to fulfill her duties under pressure. She would have to prove him wrong.

"I also recommend that you make an attempt to maintain your distance from the students," Snape continued. "While most of them are quite inept in their magical abilities, that doesn't negate their capacity to cause trouble."

"Of course."

Her eyes bore into his, cold and expressionless. Her long hair was also loosely twisted up, revealing the smooth features of her oval face. She was like a sculpture of solid ice.

He stood up from his desk, taking his eyes off her. "Given the complexity of our task it is in our best interest to begin working on it now. The Dark Lord demands expediency." He beckoned her to follow as he exited his office.

They made their way to the dungeons beneath the castle, which were damp and chill even in the hot summer. At once, Snape locked the door and went to the shelf where he kept all his spell books.

"I see you made use of your time yesterday," Snape commented, noting that his books were slightly out of order. "Did you find anything of particular interest?"

"A base of dragon's blood is probably best," Selene said. "It's commonly used in potions of this nature."

Snape nodded in agreement and began skimming through a book. "A conventional first step, though a reasonable one. We must keep in mind, however, that this potion is by far nothing 'typical.' The Dark Lord shares a very strange and remarkable connection with Harry Potter, one that has never occurred before in Wizarding history." He went to the storage cabinet, gathered together a few jars, and returned to the open book. "I've already composed a potion that could potentially suit the Dark Lord's request, though it will take several weeks before it is ready." After scanning the page for a brief moment, he began to call out instructions for Selene.

Despite the fact that she was not used to following another's directions, she quickly set about her work, filling the cauldron halfway with dragon's blood and letting it simmer. She then began to cut and measure herbs according to Snape's orders.

Meanwhile, Snape watched Selene as she worked. She was diligent and efficient, measuring and adding ingredients with perfect precision. Her hands moved with the grace and skill of a Potions Master. Her concentration never failed, either, even when she absentmindedly pushed back a strand of hair from her lovely face.

The brew had turned a murky reddish-brown, like the color of dried blood. Selene wrinkled her nose when she examined it.

"Is it supposed to look like that?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Snape smirked, his tone condescending as he replied, "Yes, Miss Blackwood, it's _supposed_ to look like that."

Selene felt a spark of anger flare up.

"Now," he continued, "the potion needs to sit for the next three weeks. It must be stirred every twelve hours, first clockwise, then counterclockwise. Since I will have other obligations to attend to and you will obviously be quite available, I will leave the potion under your charge. By next week, it should turn a dark maroon. If you fail to stir it correctly, even once, it will turn into a curdled sludge. Understand?"

"Of course," she replied frostily.

***

_This is absolutely ridiculous_, Selene thought exasperatedly.

For the past week and a half she'd performed Snape's menial task, as dutifully as any servant would have, while she spent the rest of her time idle. If she'd known her assistance in this matter would only go so far as to stir a cauldron, she wouldn't have bothered. She had plenty of other work to do, including several commissions that she now had to delay completing.

Just a few days after the potion began brewing, the students arrived and the school year began. As Snape had recommended, Selene kept her distance from the students, even going so far as to remain in her room during the Feast. She spent most of her time there afterwards, studying and trying to continue her work as if she were home. She also frequented the library; since she wasn't a student, she had free access to the Restricted Section, which had copies of most of the books she owned and needed. Madame Pince, the librarian, had given her a terse nod of consent when she's asked for access, her lips pursed in disapproval.

On Saturday morning of the second week, she found a note for her in a scrawled handwriting, left on the desk by the brew.

_After you stir the potion, add 1 oz. ground griffin claw, then stir again._

—_S.S._

Selene did as the note instructed, then wandered upstairs and out onto the grounds. It was a lovely sunny day, despite the cool breeze that blew from the north. She pulled up the hood of her cloak and wrapped it tighter around her body as she walked to the shore of the lake. There were several groups of students outside, some lounging beneath the trees, but they took no notice of her.

She stayed by the edge of the water for some time, staring into its black depths. Every so often she saw a flicker of movement of the fish beneath the surface, though at one point she was almost certain she glimpsed a face as well.

Her gaze then drifted further along the shore of the lake, where she spotted a white building. As she drew nearer to it, she saw that it was a white tomb with the name '_Albus Dumbledore_' engraved into the marble. She touched the cold surface of the former Headmaster's tomb and a chill ran up her spine.

This was the tomb of the man that Snape had killed. Selene wondered what kind of man could stand to be so close to the grave of his victim and not even flinch. Could Snape be that cruel, or did he truly hate Dumbledore so much?

She forced herself to walk on, away from the tomb. She meandered further around the grounds, her thoughts drifting aimlessly until she began to consider the potion. It seemed that Snape easily managed to put it together himself; why was she required as well? He hardly even considered her opinion in the ingredients used. True, she had agreed with most of them, but there were several items that she would have suggested more useful substitutes for.

Perhaps the Dark Lord was testing her in some way, though she would have greatly preferred not being involved at all. She neither supported nor opposed the Dark Lord, but remained neutral to the situation. After all, she lived not here but in Germany; what concern was it of hers?

Selene glanced at her pocket watch for the time. She still had a few hours before she had to stir the potion. She shook her head and sighed. She'd never had so much idle time before, not even at school. Hopefully, however, this potion would work and she would able to return home before the end of the month.

***

After she stirred the potion—now a strange fuchsia—Selene spent the rest of her evening reclined by the fire in her room, drinking tea and reading. It was nearly midnight when a loud, abrupt knock sounded on her door. Dressed only in a nightshift, she reached for her robe and went to open it.

Snape stood in the doorway, his brow furrowed and his eyes glittering in anger. In the shadows of the dark hallway, his form alarmed her at first, sending flashing images of a similar form through her mind. She quickly banished the thoughts and addressed him.

"Professor Snape—"

He pushed the door open and forced himself into her room, then shut the door.

"Is there some sort of problem?" she asked, hearing her voice rise irritably.

"Are you as oblivious as you are incompetent, Miss Blackwood?" he shot back, his tone scathing. "Did I not specifically instruct you to stir the potion every twelve hours? Or did you simply find the task beneath you?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," Selene replied, clenching her fists. "I have followed your instructions just as you gave them. I am quite aware of the consequences of carelessness when it comes to potions, _Professor_."

"Then how, _Miss Blackwood_, do you explain the fact that the potion is now a black sludge and utterly useless?"

Selene's eyes narrowed. "It certainly was not like that when I stirred it several hours ago."

"Are you suggesting that someone broke into the dungeons and deliberately sabotaged the potion?"

"I can think of no other explanation."

Snape sneered. "I can—you're lying and trying to make up an excuse to cover your blunder."

Selene burst out laughing. "I can hardly believe this absurdity. I haven't been scolded like this since I was a child!" Her tone then became serious and chilly once more. "I may not be infallible, Professor Snape, but I'm certainly not careless in my work. Perhaps if you removed your head from your ass long enough, you'd realize that I'm not a fumbling student but actually a professional." She opened her bedroom door and stood by it. "Now please leave."

She saw Snape's jaw clench as he bit back his response. Without another word, he swiftly left the room, his robes billowing behind him. Selene barely refrained from slamming the door. It then took her quite some time before she was able to reel in her temper as she paced around her room.

He actually had the audacity to accuse her of lying to cover up a mistake, as if she were a child! She was twenty-three years old, not three, and quite capable of taking responsibility for her actions. Yet there was no possible way the potion was ruined on her account, for she had done everything meticulously and accordingly. Perhaps it was an accident; maybe one of the ingredients had been tainted by something else or spoiled. She shook her head against the thought. Snape was not as careless as that.

The only other explanation, then, was sabotage. But who could possibly know about the potion? Moreover, who would be able to break into the office?

Unless…

But why would _he_ do that?

***

The next morning, Selene headed directly for the office in the dungeons. Snape was already there, consulting a book and working on a potion. He took no notice of her but seemed to pointedly ignore her presence.

She glanced at the ingredients on the table and realized that he was making the same potion as before. She let him continue for another moment before she finally spoke up.

"Might I make a few suggestions, Professor," she began, "or is my help here unnecessary?"

"I suppose, Miss Blackwood," he answered indifferently.

"Juniper may be a more apt substitution for the Alcaravea root. Perhaps you could also add dragon heartstring in place of some of the blood to give it greater potency."

"If I hadn't already thought of those substitutions, don't you think I would have made them if they would be more useful?" he remarked scornfully.

"Then what precisely is the point of my being here, if you so obviously do not need my help?" Selene shot back. "As I recall, the Dark Lord asked for my services for a specific purpose, yet you seem perfectly content to pretend as if I don't exist, let alone take my proposals into consideration. I have plenty of my own work that I could be doing, rather than wasting my time here being your drudge."

Snape whirled around to face her, his gaze menacing and quite annoyed. "Do not think for the slightest instant that I 'needed' your help, Miss Blackwood. I cannot fathom why the Dark Lord saw fit to summon you for this task, but I can assure you it was not for my benefit."

"Perhaps I should speak with him myself, then, and inform him that he was mistaken."

"Quite impossible, unfortunately," he said. "The Dark Lord is currently abroad and refuses to be disturbed unless the matter is of the utmost importance. In the meantime, he has left me to deal with matters that don't concern him."

Selene clenched her teeth. In other words, she was stuck with him.

Snape added the last ingredient and stirred the potion. He then closed the spell book, placed it back on the shelf, and turned to Selene.

"The same instructions as before, Miss Blackwood," he informed her. "Do be sure to mind it more carefully this time."

She would have hurled the cauldron at his head if she could.

Her mood remained quite foul for the rest of the day, no matter how hard she tried to distract herself with her work. With an exasperated sigh, Selene gave up, and began to wander the many halls and corridors of Hogwarts.

It was early evening and large groups of students were heading towards the Great Hall for supper. Selene studied their faces, keeping her distance as Snape had instructed her. The students spoke to each other in low murmurs but did not laugh or even smile. Their faces reflected the emotions that Selene could sense in the air: anxiety. Worry. Fear.

An older student, a pretty girl with bright red hair and freckles, casually began to fall behind in the group of students until she was the last of the group. Selene saw her glance around her, as if looking for a way to escape.

"Weasley!" a harsh voice yelled. Around the corner, opposite of Selene, came Alecto Carrow.

The girl's expression immediately turned sour. Alecto grabbed her roughly by the arm.

"And where do you think you're going, Weasley?" Alecto demanded.

"Off to dinner; where d'you think?" the girl retorted.

"Don't try and play me, girl. I saw you trying to sneak off."

A few of the students glanced back but quickly continued on their way. Judging by the fearful looks on their faces, they didn't want to get into trouble for lingering.

"I was not trying to sneak off—"

Selene stepped forward and walked towards them. "Is there a problem here?" she asked coolly.

"No, just dealing with a problem student," Alecto answered. "Trying to sneak off from the students to cause trouble, I presume."

The girl glared at Alecto Carrow with pure hatred.

"I disagree," Selene said. "I was walking along the hall at the other end and saw her. It appeared that she was merely falling behind to meet one of her friends."

"You're full of it, Blackwood," Alecto said angrily.

Selene kept Alecto's gaze unflinchingly. "Then take it up with the Headmaster," she said. "But since you have no verifiable proof that this student was sneaking off, let her go."

The girl wrenched her arm from Alecto's grasp and, taking the opportunity, continued downstairs along with the rest of the students.

Alecto gave Selene a nasty look before she also followed the students downstairs to the Great Hall. Selene had no doubt that Alecto would complain to Snape about her actions and it would become another thing Snape would lecture her for. Even worse, the girl would probably be persecuted even more now because Selene had intervened.

She sincerely hoped the girl was up for the challenge.

***

It was nearly midnight in mid-September when two cloaked figures secretly arrived at Hogwarts and entered the Headmaster's tower. In the dim light of the office, they revealed themselves to be Antonin Dolohov and Yaxley.

"Have you found Potter yet?" Snape questioned.

"Not yet," Yaxley replied gruffly. "I haven't been able to track him from Grimmauld Place."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "The Dark Lord will not be pleased by your continued failure," he said. "Potter is on the run with nowhere to go, and even with our near unlimited resources, you still can't find one stupid, incompetent boy."

Dolohov scowled. "You know very well that Potter also has a great deal of resources and support. It's not as easy as you might think, Snape."

"It's not what I think that matters, Dolohov, but what the Dark Lord thinks," Snape reminded. "If he thinks that you are lax in your search even for a moment, you are well aware of the consequences that await. Do what you must, but keep searching." He then directed his attention to Yaxley. "How are matters proceeding in the Ministry?"

"According to the Dark Lord's plans," Yaxley said. "Quite a few people have quit, and more have threatened to, but their positions in the Ministry are easily filled. Right now our main concern is that ridiculous newspaper, _The Quibbler_. Lovegood keeps publishing pro-Potter rubbish. We're working on some way to shut him down."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that such an ill-regarded newspaper was such a major concern."

"It wasn't," Yaxley replied, "but we think Lovegood might have connections to the Order of the Phoenix and maybe even Potter himself. As soon as we shut him down, we can bring him in for interrogation."

Snape nodded. "Very well. Anything else?"

Both Dolohov and Yaxley shook their heads.

"Then I will see you in two weeks, unless something important arises."

Once he'd led them out of the castle, he returned to his office. Dumbledore's portrait was leaning against the frame as he waited.

"There are many in the Ministry who are still loyal," Dumbledore remarked. "Unfortunately, they're too scared to act outright, especially after Harry's break-in. I'm glad he's managed to stay ahead of the Death Eaters."

"His actions were foolish," Snape returned sharply. "He could have gotten himself caught and killed."

"But he didn't," Dumbledore said. "He managed to successfully enter the Ministry under Death Eater watch and free the Muggle-borns that were captured. Come now, Severus, you ought to give the boy a bit of credit for that."

Snape waved his hand dismissively. He began to sort through a stack of papers on his desk. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss with Dumbledore how wonderful Potter was for his continuous stupidity.

"What of Miss Blackwood?" Dumbledore asked, purposely changing the subject. "I heard Alecto Carrow complaining of her last week."

"Apparently, Miss Blackwood interfered in a confrontation between Alecto Carrow and Ginny Weasley," Snape told him. "Carrow, of course, was furious at the fact that she'd been thwarted out of an opportunity to hassle the students."

"What did Miss Blackwood say?"

"I haven't mentioned the matter to her," Snape said, "and I don't plan to. I'm more concerned with keeping her blind to the fact that I'm sabotaging the potion—which, by the way, is swiftly becoming quite difficult."

"Do what you must, Severus," Dumbledore said. "She cannot find out."

"Trust me," Snape replied wearily, "I'm well aware of that."


	4. Chapter 4

"That is _not_ how the potion should look," Snape commented disdainfully.

Selene stepped towards the cauldron and examined it for herself. Snape was right; it had turned a strange putrid green and smelled like rotting garbage.

"It appears that yet another blunder has been made," said Snape, vanishing the potion from the cauldron. The look on his face insinuated that he once again believed Selene to be at fault, though he said nothing. Selene gritted her teeth.

He reexamined a few of the ingredients he had used and began altering the amounts, as well as replacing a few items. He gave Selene several instructions, which she grudgingly followed without a word of protest.

It occurred to her that perhaps she should contact the Dark Lord about the matter. True, he would certainly not appreciate the interruption from whatever he was doing abroad, but Selene could not continue to work like this. It wasn't her nature to blindly follow orders without any say. With, of course, the exception of being dragged into the Dark Lord's service against her will.

But if she couldn't complete this task, she would never escape.

_However_…

If she composed her own potion for the Dark Lord, separate from Snape's work, she'd be able to relieve herself of the mission and of Snape. Though it would take considerable time to create the potion herself, it was possible. She wouldn't need Snape's help at all.

_Just as he doesn't 'need' mine_.

***

The Dark Lord sighed. "It's been quite some time since I've sat in this office," he remarked.

It was several days after Dolohov and Yaxley's meeting with Snape when Lord Voldemort sent word that he planned to come to the castle. Like his servants, the Dark Lord arrived in secret in the middle of the night, heavily cloaked to not only disguise his appearance but also against the heavy rain that poured from the skies.

"I had not expected you to come here, my Lord," Snape said.

"Which is exactly why I'm here," Voldemort returned. "I want to check on the status of my potion. Will Miss Blackwood be joining us, like I requested?"

Before Snape answered, a light knock was heard on the door. Selene entered the office in her robe and slippers, her hair in a long plait over her shoulder.

"My Lord," she said in surprise when she saw Voldemort. She gave a quick bow of her head. "This is unexpected."

"So everyone seems to think," said Voldemort. "Is it so unexpected to check upon the work of my followers, to be sure that they are correctly doing their job?" He turned back to Snape. "It has been nearly a month, Severus," he continued, his tone veiling a deep anger. "I had expected a great deal of progress by now, if not a finished product."

"My apologies, my Lord," Snape answered, "but unfortunately, we have experienced several setbacks that have impeded our progress greatly."

Both Selene and Voldemort noted that Snape directly implicated Selene in the way he looked at her as he spoke. The Dark Lord nodded and looked at Selene. "Would you mind informing me of these setbacks, Miss Blackwood?"

Selene clenched her jaw. "My Lord, they have not been of my doing. I have followed Professor Snape's instructions perfectly and have conducted a great deal of my own research for your potion. Professor Snape, however, refuses to take any of my suggestions into consideration. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that _he_ is the one responsible in the delay."

The Dark Lord chuckled for a moment after Selene's accusation. Then, without warning, he swiftly whipped out his wand from the sleeve of his robes and pointed it at Selene. Immediately, she felt an incredibly painful pressure, much like a hand, closing around her throat and she fell to her knees.

"I do not have time, Miss Blackwood, for this childish nonsense," the Dark Lord's voice roared. She sputtered as the invisible hand closed around her throat tighter, choking her. "This is not a game. When I give a command I expect it to be done without a moment's hesitation. I do not tolerate my followers pointing fingers of blame at one another simply because they can't do as they are commanded." He released the spell and she fell over on the floor. Selene broke into a coughing fit, gasping for air.

Lord Voldemort adjusted his cloak. "I will return within the next several weeks for another report." Snape gave a nod and followed the Dark Lord out of the office to conceal his departure from Hogwarts. Selene was left alone on the cold floor.

It took all of her resolve to not burst into tears. Snape had blamed her for failures that were not of her doing, and she had taken the punishment for them. What had she gotten herself into?

Selene struggled to her feet and quickly left the office before she met Snape again, for if she saw him at that moment she would kill him. Once she was back in her chambers, she searched her trunk for the spare vial of her potion and immediately drank it down. Its effects were not as potent as a freshly brewed potion, but it still calmed her considerably. Tomorrow, she resolved, she would brew a fresh batch.

After a few moments, she examined her neck in the bathroom mirror. The Dark Lord's spell had been strong enough to leave considerable bruises in the obvious shape of a hand. She would have to figure out an inconspicuous way to conceal her bruised neck. She would manage. It wasn't the first time she'd been choked.

***

The following morning, Selene avoided Snape at all costs. Even though she'd regained some control after taking her potion, she still could not bear his presence. She tended to Snape's potion then returned to her room. She realized she could no longer rely on Snape's judgment or expect him to treat her with any decency or respect. Instead, she resolved to concoct her own potion for the Dark Lord, one that she would be certain would work. Then, her task would be finished and she would be able to leave Hogwarts. She'd never felt so trapped in her life, and she refused to allow herself to be controlled any longer.

Selene examined every ingredient of Snape's potion meticulously and spent the entire day making notes on each plant and its possible substitutions. By the end of the day, when it was time to stir the potion once more, she'd already begun gathering ingredients.

Much to her dismay, she found Snape in the dungeons, reading through one of the spell books.

"I've already stirred the potion, Miss Blackwood. You needn't do anything else."

Selene did not reply or even look at Snape. Without a word she went to the storage cabinet and began perusing through the various jars and vials.

Snape could easily sense her cold anger. She had every reason to hate him; he'd blamed her for their "failures." However, he hadn't expected the Dark Lord to react in such a way, and he was certainly sympathetic to Selene's pain.

"There's a small jar behind the gillyweed on the top shelf," Snape remarked casually. "It's a salve that will help with the bruising on your neck."

Selene found it but ignored the suggestion and continued looking through the cabinet. After a few more seconds of searching, she found the correct container and measured a small portion into a vial.

Snape had been watching her. "May I ask what you are doing, Miss Blackwood?"

"You may," she replied stiffly. "That doesn't mean I will give you an answer."

"Considering that you are using my personal stores, I think I have every right to an answer."

"I have every intention of reimbursing you," she said. "If my own supplies weren't so limited, I would have used them instead."

A glance told Snape that she was measuring dragon's blood and yarrow root extract, along with an indistinct dark powder, which he guessed to be either crushed beetle eyes or basilisk scales. When she was finished, she finally turned and looked at him, handing him a slip of parchment.

"A list of what I owe you and the amount," she explained. Snape accepted it without comment, noticing that she had discreetly wrapped a dark silk scarf around her neck, barely noticeable beneath her dark hair.

Selene saw no apology in his black eyes, though she certainly had not expected to. Despite what she wanted to believe, she saw no cruelty or malice in his eyes either. She couldn't read his expression or fathom why he'd subjected her to the Dark Lord's rage, but in her own anger she didn't really care.

"If your personal stores are short," Snape began, "then I see no reason why you shouldn't take the time to go to Diagon Alley. You should be able to find whatever you require there."

"I don't have the time," Selene replied shortly. "I have work to do."

***

October arrived and with it the typical autumn weather. The leaves of the trees changed their colors into a variety of golds, reds, and oranges. The air grew cool, especially at night, and was often accompanied by a breeze that brought an extra chill.

Just as promised, Lord Voldemort came back to Hogwarts, once again late at night and heavily cloaked. Snape's potion had hardly made any more progress than before; in fact, he'd mentioned the possibility of starting over again and changing some of the ingredients. At that point, Selene realized that he was indeed stalling the Dark Lord, though she could not fathom why. This time, however, she would not suffer for Snape's mistakes.

She was already in the Headmaster's office when Snape and Lord Voldemort entered the room.

"Good evening, Miss Blackwood," the Dark Lord greeted.

"Good evening, my Lord."

"Well, now that both of my Potions Masters are here, what is the progress on my potion?" he asked once Snape closed the door. "I certainly hope you've had more progress than before."

Before Snape could respond, Selene spoke. "Not in the way that you would expect, unfortunately. The potion is not proceeding as we originally thought and we may need to start over."

The Dark Lord's expression darkened at Selene's words. "And let me guess—is this also Snape's fault?"

"Not at all, my Lord," Selene replied calmly. "When you questioned me several weeks ago, I was frustrated at the lack of our progress and misspoke. I had forgotten the basic rule of experimental potions."

"Which is?"

"Nothing is ever certain. As I understand as well, my Lord, your situation is extremely unique and requires even more preparation and experimentation in order to procure the exact potion that you need. In other words, to be frank, this is going to take longer than promised."

Just as she expected, the Dark Lord's snakelike face filled with anger. She continued before he could speak: "However, I have in the meantime prepared a potion that should suffice until then." Selene reached into the pocket of her robe and handed Voldemort a glass vial filled with a dark reddish liquid. His expression immediately turned questioning. She also caught the perplexed expression on Snape's face and was filled with satisfaction.

Voldemort looked at the vial's contents in the lamplight. "What is it?"

"It's a Strengthening Potion, modified with similar properties to the same potion Professor Snape and I are working on. It should sustain your power, especially if Potter is draining it through your connection. Of course, its effects are more temporary, but if it works to my Lord's satisfaction, we will be a great deal closer to completing your potion."

The Dark Lord's lips twisted into a grin. "I'm impressed, Miss Blackwood. Judging by the look of surprise on Severus' face, I assume this potion was of your own creation completely. I'm glad the urgency of this task has left such an impression on you." He unstopped the vial and delicately sniffed the potion, then dipped a long pointed finger into it and tasted the liquid. After his inspection, he appeared even more pleased and drank it.

"How long before I feel the potion's effects, Miss Blackwood?" he asked.

"It should only take a few moments, my Lord," Selene answered. "I'm not entirely certain how long it will last, but I can guarantee at least a month. If you should need more, of course, I will prepare it for you."

"Well, I should think by then you will have my potion completed," the Dark Lord said. He paused for a moment and seemed to draw in a deep breath. "Very good, Miss Blackwood," he commented softly. "Very good indeed." He left the office.

Before Snape followed, he turned to Selene. "Clever, Miss Blackwood."

She gave him a hard look. "I was your fool once. You're sorely mistaken if you think I'll fall for it again." She pushed past him and exited the office.

Lord Voldemort was waiting outside the door. As both Selene and Snape followed, Voldemort stopped Snape. "I would like to speak to Miss Blackwood privately, Severus. She can lead me out."

Selene hesitated. "My Lord, I am not entirely familiar with the castle—"

"But I am. Trust me, Miss Blackwood, you have no reason to fear." He wrapped his cloak around his face and proceeded down the hall. She had no choice but to follow.

The Dark Lord led her to the Astronomy Tower, which apparently was his method of sneaking into the castle unnoticed by the other staff and students. However, Selene saw no means of flying and wondered how he managed to get there in the first place.

"I realize that I was quite harsh with you several weeks ago," the Dark Lord said. "You understand, of course, that I have been uncertain about your loyalty to me and had to test you."

"I understand, my Lord."

"You possess a quality that your mother has often demonstrated before in my service: brute honesty. Rather than lie or cushion the truth to avoid my anger, you confront the situation and tell me flat out. I admire that. You realized that the potion would take longer than you expected to create and told me so."

"I'm glad my Lord is pleased," Selene replied.

"Tell me, Miss Blackwood," the Dark Lord continued, his red eyes glowing in the dark night, "if I offered you the Dark Mark, would you accept it?"

Selene thought carefully before she answered. In the back of her mind, a voice screamed, _No!_

"It would be an honor, my Lord," she said after a moment. "However, I'm uncertain what possible service I could offer you after this task is completed. My mastery is limited to potions, and you have Severus Snape readily available to serve as your Potions Master."

He seemed to consider her response for a moment. "Very well, you have a viable point. But perhaps in the future we shall see further. You are the daughter of one of my most trusted followers and have in turn demonstrated a loyalty I have rarely seen in anyone else. Consider my offer, Miss Blackwood, for I do not extend it lightly." He then rose into the air and flew off, leaving Selene standing alone in astonishment.

***

"That was unexpected," Dumbledore remarked.

"I underestimated her," Snape said darkly. He sat in his chair, glowering.

"She's an intelligent and capable young woman, you must give her that," the portrait pointed out. "Given what happened several weeks ago, I don't blame her for it."

Snape didn't reply. Though he had only seen her a few times since the incident, she had grown significantly colder and harsher towards him. Her eyes had been so glaring that whenever he caught their gaze he nearly flinched. He'd resigned himself then to the fact that he'd only made another enemy.

"At least this gives me more time to weaken the potion further," he said after a moment.

"Good," Dumbledore said. "But I would recommend, Severus, that you attempt to make amends in some way to Miss Blackwood. If she has managed to create a potion to appease the Dark Lord, it's possible she may have also developed her own plans for a potion to suit his desire. If the Dark Lord manages to block his connection to Harry, Harry will no longer have the advantage of their link."

Snape remained deep in thought, offering no response to the portrait. Though he knew Selene was more than likely developing her own potion, given that she had openly taken some of his supplies, he had no intention of "making amends." She had involved herself in the situation; he was not responsible if she was harmed in the process. It would be, however, a problem if she succeeded in completing the Dark Lord's potion on her own. He would have to decide his course of action then if that should occur.

***

Selene hardly spoke to or even saw Snape during the next couple of weeks. Snape had discarded his potion and begun again, though with modified instructions. She followed them as he asked, of course, though most of her concentration was focused on her own potion for the Dark Lord. Meanwhile, she constantly thought of the offer Voldemort had made to her and how she could possibly get out of it. She had no intention of joining his side, no matter what he offered in return.

Night had fallen when Selene returned to her room. Even with the fire the air was chill as the early November wind managed to waft through the cracks in the castle walls. She examined the color and consistency of the potion brewing in her cauldron. It had turned a mild reddish-purple and looked like juice. Satisfied, she poured the potion into a vial and bottled it tightly.

It was getting late, but Selene decided to go to Snape's office anyway to inform him of her plans. Now that her potion was finished, she saw no reason to remain at Hogwarts any longer. She had fulfilled the Dark Lord's orders and hopefully would be released from his service—or, at the very least, from dealing with Snape.

She made her way down the hall, spoke the password to the stone gargoyle, and climbed the stairs to the Headmaster's office. Unsure of whether or not Snape was there, she listened quietly for any movement before she knocked.

"The potion is nearly ready," she heard Snape's voice say. "It took more time than I expected, but I managed to make it as weak as I could. The Dark Lord shouldn't be able to detect its weakness, though."

"Good," an unfamiliar voice spoke. "That should satisfy him for now."

"It should weaken the connection between them enough to the point where it's barely noticeable," Snape continued. "However, Potter should still be able to sense the Dark Lord's plans, just as you asked."

"I understand your resentment of the situation, Severus, but Harry's role in this is just as important as yours," the voice chided. "He's on the run and he has to be able to remain ahead of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters."

Snape's response was inaudible, but Selene had heard enough. She clenched her teeth in anger. The entire time she had only been used; Snape had pulled the strings and controlled her like a puppet. The sabotaged potion, the setbacks, the failures—all of them he'd blamed her for, when, in fact, it was his doing all along because he'd been working for the other side. Without a second thought, she opened the door and walked straight into the office, her blood boiling.

Snape stopped in mid-sentence and whirled towards the door of the office. There stood Selene, her silver-blue eyes flashing, her expression filled with anger. She stared at the portrait of Dumbledore, who gazed back at her with clear blue eyes.

Snape's mind went blank for a brief instant before he reached for his wand.

"_Obliv_—"

Selene, however, was quicker. "_Expelliarmus_!" His wand flew from his hand and landed several feet from her. She picked it up, keeping her wand aimed at him, and closed the door.

"It seems we have not been careful enough, Severus," the portrait remarked. He addressed Selene then. "Well, Miss Blackwood, what are your intentions?"

She started slightly, but kept her composure. "How do you know my name?"

"Severus informed me of your assignment from the Dark Lord," he said matter-of-factly.

At the mention of her mission, Selene's temper quickened again and she turned back to Snape. "You played me," she hissed. "All this time you've been working against the Dark Lord while I've been suffering the consequences. You stood there and let the Dark Lord punish me for what you've been doing. I've sacrificed my time, my effort, my sani—"

Snape cut her off before she could finish, his voice harsh. "Your 'sacrifices' are insignificant compared to what others have sacrificed to fight the Dark Lord. People have given their very lives to stop him and keep the world free from his grasp. This is a war, Miss Blackwood. Do not expect me to apologize simply because I have inconvenienced you."

"It's a war I never wanted any part of!" she exclaimed. "Do you think I care about blood purity or Muggles or any of the other petty squabbles of wizards? It's never made one bit of difference in my life, nor will it ever. But simply because of my family I am forced to comply with the orders of a dark wizard who thinks that he can control the world, just as so many Muggles have sought to do! None of you understand that these grandiose schemes of trying to change the world mean absolutely nothing. The world is always the same. All that changes is the tyrant hiding behind the ideals."

"Then what would you have—the lesser or greater of the two evils?" Snape retorted. "Do you think that anyone will be happier under the Dark Lord's reign, aside from his cruel and sadistic followers? He kills innocent Muggles and half-bloods, simply because he believes them to be inferior. At least under the Ministry we live under some semblance of order and peace."

"So that's what makes the Dark Lord evil, the fact that he acts upon what he believes and truthfully admits it? At least he does not hide like the Ministry behind masks of hypocrisy! They claim to be fair and tolerant but all the while behind closed doors they only act upon the same prejudices. How many Muggle-born witches and wizards do you see working in positions of power? How many Muggle-born children are invited to Hogwarts in comparison to the total number who display magical powers? Then, rather than being invited to a place that would accept and encourage their magical talents, they are locked away into Muggle mental institutions. Our world is no better than it was a century ago."

"That is what we are trying to change, Miss Blackwood," Dumbledore's portrait said quietly but firmly. "You are right; many of the old prejudices still exist within the Ministry and its policies. Values are one of the most difficult things to change in a person, let alone within a generation. Yet it is within the new generation, in Harry Potter and those of his age, that I hope such changes will occur. But if the Dark Lord comes to power, that will never happen."

"And he will not stop here," Snape continued, his eyes glittering. "If you think the Dark Lord's ambitions can be contained, you are sorely mistaken. He has already expressed his desires to take over the rest of the continent, and perhaps even beyond that. He's already mobilizing and gathering more followers in countries around the world. No one will be safe unless we stop him."

Selene saw his eyes flicker from the wand she aimed at him to the potion in her other hand. He cautiously stepped forward and held out his hand. "Give me the potion, Miss Blackwood."

She steadied her wand hand. "Or what?"

"Or you will be making a very big mistake."

A long moment passed as their eyes fixed on one another's in silence. She clenched her fingers around the vial, the glass surprisingly cool. She couldn't do it.

She strode over to the fireplace and threw the potion into the fire. The flames blazed high for a moment then died. She cast one last glance at Snape and the portrait, then tossed Snape's wand to the floor and left.

***

Selene sat before the fire, staring into the flames. Her mind was exhausted yet it raced with thoughts. She'd made a draught of her potion but still had not drunk it; instead she sipped a cup of tea, wanting a clear mind in order to process all the information she'd been given.

She hated the fact that she'd allowed herself to get caught in the middle of this war. It had been years since she had drawn such distinct lines between good and evil, and yet now it seemed that she was being forced to choose sides.

A knock sounded at the door. She adjusted her robe and tied it, then went to the door and opened it. As she expected, it was Snape.

"What do you want?" she asked wearily.

"May I speak with you?" he responded quietly.

Selene moved aside to let him in. "I suppose I don't have much of a choice." She closed the door behind him.

"I understand that you have been put into a difficult position," Snape began. "However, I'm here to ask for your help."

"I thought you didn't need my help," she said. "After all, you've made it abundantly clear over the past few months that you think next to nothing of me or my skills. Or do you still need someone to take your punishments from the Dark Lord so that you avoid getting caught?"

"What do you want, an apology?" he retorted angrily. "I had no other choice."

Selene remained calm. She was too tired to even work up the energy to match his anger. "I don't want anything from you, even if I could get it. I barely know you, but I know well enough that you're not the type of person to regret his actions, no matter who they hurt. For you, the ends always justify the means." She sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead. "Again, I ask—what do you want?"

Snape took a deep breath. "You are the only one who knows of my true allegiance," he said. She saw his black eyes search hers imploringly. "My position must be kept in absolute secrecy."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll be forced to Obliviate your memory."

"I'd like to see you try." Her bright eyes gazed back at him challengingly.

Snape studied her for a moment. He realized he had indeed greatly underestimated her. She was a strong, intelligent, and very capable woman. With her help, he would have a greater chance of success in his work against the Dark Lord.

But would she consent to helping him?

Selene folded her arms against her chest. "He offered me the Dark Mark," she told him quietly. "He said I had demonstrated to him a loyalty he had rarely seen in his other followers."

Snape's breath caught in his throat, but he kept his voice steady. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him it would be an honor," she said, "while I racked my brain for every damned excuse I could think of not to accept it."

Snape silently released his breath in a sigh of relief.

She paused for a moment and considered what she was about to agree to. If she said yes, she would be trapped here even longer and drag herself even deeper into the war. If she said yes, she would not only put herself into danger, but she would also be a risk for Snape and his mission. But what other choice did she have?

"I'll keep your secret," she said finally.

Snape nodded. "Thank you."

"I also have a suggestion, if you'll stand to hear it."

"Yes, Miss Blackwood?"

"A weakened severing potion will either still be entirely effective or not at all. It's incredibly difficult, if not impossible to obtain a middle ground with such a potion. If you really want to use the Dark Lord's powers against him and help Harry Potter, a binding potion would be better."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "What sort of binding potion?"

Selene went to her trunk and searched through until she found the correct spell book. She flipped to the page with the potion and handed it to Snape.

"It will take a great deal of modification, but it is possible to create a binding potion that will separate the Dark Lord from Harry's mind but will still allow Harry to see into his. A severing potion would not accomplish that."

Snape read through the instructions and ingredients. The potion was indeed basic but would serve as a suitable foundation for one to use against the Dark Lord. He refused to admit to her that he had not thought of such a potion nor even made one. He closed the book and handed it back to her.

"A binding potion will take even longer to create," he said.

"Not necessarily," she replied. "That is, as long as you actually decide to listen to me this time."

Snape bowed his head in acquiescence. "All right, Miss Blackwood."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **This will probably be the last post for a few days, since I'll be working/preparing to head home for winter break. (Plus, I have some serious revamping work to accomplish with Part Two.)

Once again, thanks for reading! ~Lady Galadriel

**************************

Over the next several days, Selene met with Snape in his office to work. Instead of assigning Selene menial tasks, he actually worked with her this time to create the binding potion. When he wasn't tending to Hogwarts business or matters with the Death Eaters, he joined Selene in poring over numerous spell books.

It was a Saturday morning in mid-November when Selene arrived in his office, carrying a pile of heavy books from the Restricted Section in the library. Snape glanced up from his work as she placed them on the desk.

"I'm quite certain that if Madame Pince could shoot daggers from her eyes, I would be dead right now," she told him. She took the book at the top of the pile and set about to make herself a cup of tea. "I informed her, of course, that if the books are in any way damaged when they are returned to her to see you regarding the matter."

Snape made no comment. So now he would have to deal with the librarian as well, he thought sourly. Though she made no implication of it in her tone or expression, Selene seemed to enjoy placing him in such minor though aggravating situations as often as possible.

She sat down in the armchair with the book and her cup of tea, browsing through the pages. Ever since Snape had actually asked for her help with the potion, Selene's mood had improved considerably. She derived more satisfaction from the challenge of her work more than the thought that she was operating against the Dark Lord. For her, it was always the challenge and the immediate success of the job, rather than the final outcome, that often drove her.

Additionally, despite their initial disputes, Selene had even begun to mildly tolerate Snape. She still begrudged him on some minor level, but she understood his actions at least. He was still quite abrasive and downright maddening at times, but his skill and intelligence at potions made their work together bearable.

With a flick of her wand, Selene conjured a clear glass ball, small enough to fit in the palm of her hand. She started to move it from her palm, over the tips of her fingers, and to the back of her hand, back and forth, in smooth fluid motions. She continued this even as she read, without faltering. After reading a few more pages, she became lost in thought, staring at nothing, her hand still in graceful motion.

Snape caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and looked at her curiously. Finally, he spoke up. "Is the work that dull for you, Miss Blackwood?"

Her concentration hardly broke. "It helps me think," she murmured in response. She passed the orb to her other hand. "Bindweed—"

"—is used for physical binding, not magical," Snape interrupted. "We already dismissed using it."

She stood up and began to pace around the room. "Exactly, because everyone uses the common variety: Morning Glory. It's assumed that the flowers need to be harvested in the morning for the plant to have its full potency." The glass orb now moved rapidly back and forth over her hand. "There's a rare form that is used for magical binding."

Snape watched her as she paced, his black eyes shining. "You're talking about Winter's Moon."

She stopped and turned to him. She now held the glass orb in her hand.

"Yes."

"Right, I'll just step out and pick a few blossoms from the grounds," Snape remarked sardonically. "Shouldn't take more than a moment."

Selene ignored him. "Just because it's rare doesn't means it's impossible to find," she said. Her gaze turned towards the window and at the Forbidden Forest. "It grows where unicorns and other creatures of innocence dwell," she continued. "The season is right and the full moon is in a few days."

"Do you have any idea what the odds are of finding Winter's Moon in the Forbidden Forest?"

Selene smiled. "Absolute zero if we don't look."

***

The night was cold and clear, the full moon rising high in the dark sky. Its silver light shone eerily on the castle grounds, creating strange shadows among the trees and around the lake. Snape and Selene quietly slipped from the castle shortly past midnight. They followed the path from Hogwarts into the darkness of the Forbidden Forest and disappeared into the trees.

Selene trailed behind Snape, her hand on her wand and her eyes searching along the ground for the silvery white flowers of Winter's Moon. Nothing disturbed them as they moved among the trees, though they were as vigilant for attacking creatures as they were for the rare flower.

As her eyes searched, she glimpsed a skeletal form in the moonlight and gasped softly. Snape immediately stopped and turned to her, his wand half-raised, but then lowered it. Up ahead was a young thestral, its leathery wings folded back and its dragonish face hidden in the shadows as it fed on what appeared to be the remains of a rabbit. It raised its head to look at them with its blank, white eyes, and then went back to feeding.

"You can see it," Snape stated in a low voice.

"Yes," she answered just as softly. The sight of the thestral had frightened her; it brought to her conscious mind memories that she did not wish to recall. Before Snape could question her, she began walking again.

Snape gazed at the thestral for another moment. He had seen much death in the Dark Lord's service and he had killed enough as well. Though he didn't ask, he wondered whose death Selene had witnessed—and why it had caused her to flee the sight of the thestral so quickly.

When he turned to follow her, she was gone. He strained his eyes in the darkness to try and find her but saw nothing. Snape cursed under his breath and drew his wand, hoping Selene hadn't acted a blundering fool.

A flash of white caught Snape's eyes about thirty yards ahead. He pursued it carefully, keeping his movements stealthy. As he approached, the light grew brighter. He stopped just a few feet short and peered through the trees into a clearing bathed in moonlight. At first, he mistook the shining white form for a unicorn, but then realized it was smaller and lacked a horn. Snape stared in surprise; it was a doe.

A dark form stood next to the creature. It was Selene. Her hand was outstretched to touch the creature's graceful head. The doe stepped forward and seemed to brush against her fingers in a sign of affection. Selene stood there and petted her head for several moments, whispering softly to her.

Snape barely managed to refrain from gasping in awe at the sight before him. The image of Selene in the moonlight was exquisitely beautiful, her face serene as she tenderly stroked the doe's ears. At that moment, something within him shattered with a sudden realization.

_I'm in love with her_.

Yet how could he be? Moreover, how could he even expect—even _think_—that she would love him in return? He was miserable, worthless, and despicable, while she was flawless, radiant, bewitching. He'd never been so captivated by a woman before.

The doe turned her head and looked directly at Snape. His breath caught in his throat; he didn't want to ruin this moment with his presence but he couldn't move. Just as Selene noticed him, the doe trotted over to him. She gazed at him with her bright blue eyes and bent her head, as if inviting him to pet her. Snape touched the doe's head apprehensively. Her fur was as soft as velvet, her eyes kind and gentle.

After a few moments, the doe returned to Selene's side and gave her one last friendly nudge. She then bounded into the shadows of the trees, the shining light of her form gradually fading into the darkness.

Snape walked over to Selene, who was kneeling on the ground by a patch of Winter's Moon. She'd already taken out her knife and had begun to gently cut and gather the flowers.

"She led me here," she explained in a low voice. She looked up at Snape, her eyes as bright as moonlight. "How much do you think we will need?"

"Seven or eight blossoms should do," he replied quietly.

When she finished cutting the flowers, Selene carefully placed them in a silk pouch and slipped it into the pocket of her robes. With a nod, Snape led the way back to the castle. The two walked side by side, not a word exchanged between them.

It was nearly two o'clock in the morning when they entered the castle again. Just as they ascended the marble staircase, Minerva McGonagall met them at the top of the stairs, dressed in her nightclothes and a robe.

"Good evening, Severus," she greeted, her lips pursed.

"Good evening, Minerva," he responded.

She saw Selene and raised an eyebrow. "May I ask what you're doing out so late?"

"I don't believe that's really any of your business, Minerva," Snape said coolly.

"I disagree."

Selene felt the immediate tension between them. "If you must know, I needed a rare plant for my work, Professor McGonagall," she explained calmly. She took the pouch from her pocket and held it out to McGonagall. "You may look, if you like."

McGonagall looked at her in surprise. "No, that's quite all right, Miss Blackwood," she said after a brief pause. Her eyes flickered from Selene back to Snape. "However, I should like to remind you, Severus, that as Headmaster it is not exactly prudent to go wandering about so late at night. It hardly sets a good example for the students."

"I'm quite sure I don't need a lecture on my duties as Headmaster, Minerva," he snapped, his eyes gleaming in suppressed anger.

They stared at each other in heated silence for several minutes before McGonagall briskly turned and retreated down the hallway.

"There was no need to show her the flowers," Snape said curtly.

"The best way to avoid suspicion is not to act suspicious," Selene countered. "I should think after all these years you would have realized that."

"Am I to be lectured by you now as well, Miss Blackwood?"

"Of course not," she said smoothly. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Her tone was not mocking, but the biting sarcasm beneath the remark surprised Snape. There was an unfamiliar glint in her eyes, wild and dangerous. He was unsure of the cause, but something told him to tread very carefully.

"If you would, please keep the flowers until tomorrow morning, Miss Blackwood," Snape said, softening his tone.

She nodded and her eyes seemed to return to normal, like a wild beast tamed.

"Good night then, Professor," she said.

"Good night, Miss Blackwood."

***

Selene returned to her room as quickly as she could. Her breathing was rapid and her heart pounded fast and hard in her chest. After a moment, she realized that she'd been clenching her hands so tightly that her nails had left crescent marks in the skin of her palms.

She didn't understand what was happening. All of a sudden she felt overwhelmed and suffocated. Her body was tense and heated and she could hear the slightest sounds. She'd been strongly affected by the tension between Snape and McGonagall; her own temper had quickly and uncontrollably escalated without any reason.

It had been several days, almost a week, since she had taken her potion. Now that she knew Snape's true allegiance, both of them were at risk to the Dark Lord's wrath, especially him. Their work had required late hours and the utmost concentration. The price, unfortunately, was that she hadn't given the time or the energy to making her own potion to keep her stable. She'd already taken the potions she'd kept in reserve, but they barely did more than take the edge off. Gradually, she felt herself slipping further and further away from sanity; she recalled having vague flashbacks during the little time she slept of a dark, cruel figure with foul breath.

She couldn't put them at risk. Snape's work was crucial to Voldemort's downfall. But she also knew the dangers of constantly altering the rate at which she took the potion. The dosage was already dangerously high; if her body started to build a tolerance…

Selene shook her head, forcing herself to clear her mind of such thoughts. She would manage somehow. She'd been through difficult situations before.

_But not like this_.

***

The following morning, Selene met Snape in the dungeons, dressed in her traveling cloak. She handed him the silk bag with the flowers and a small piece of rolled parchment. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I need to know where I can find these items," she explained.

Snape unrolled the parchment and skimmed the list. He handed it back to her. "Half of those items are in my personal stores."

"Which I've already used part of," Selene replied. "I intend to replace them, as well as replenish my own stores."

"Well, as I told you some time ago, most of what you need can be found in Diagon Alley," he said. "The other items you may have to go to Knockturn Alley for."

Selene nodded. "Then you'll know where to find me."

She turned to leave. For a brief instant, Snape thought to ask if she would be all right by herself, but quickly dismissed the notion. She had demonstrated quite well that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides, the question would more than likely make him look foolish.

Dead leaves crunched beneath her feet as Selene followed the path to Hogsmeade. Her mind was as blank as the grey-white sky above; she'd taken her potion that morning, though in a slightly lower dose. Even though she needed the emotional stability, she still needed to function as well.

When she reached the periphery of the village, she Disapparated and in an instant found herself in Diagon Alley. It had been quite a number of years since she had been there, but nothing about the place had changed, save for the atmosphere. She recalled that it had once been a bustling, cheerful place, but now it reminded her a great deal of Hogwarts. The air bore the same tension and anxiety that she had sensed among the students. The witches and wizards who shopped only greeted each other briefly in passing before swiftly moving on with their purchases.

Selene walked down the main street, passing the shops until she reached the Apothecary. She entered the small shop, slightly taken aback by its potent, rotting aroma. A small, wizened old man greeted her with a nod, which she returned before she began to browse through the shop's contents.

Most of the items were, as Snape had said, available at the shop. She gathered what she needed, including the reimbursement she owed Snape, and paid for her purchases. She then exited the shop, relieved to breathe the fresh air again.

Only a few items remained on the list of things Selene required. She'd only been to Knockturn Alley once when she was younger, and the experience had been less than pleasant. Still, she refused to be deterred and headed off in the direction of Knockturn Alley.

Before she reached the alleyway, however, she was stopped by the sound of someone calling her name.

"Selene!"

She turned in the direction of the voice and to her displeasure came face to face with her mother, Morticia.

"Hello, Mother," Selene said, forcing her voice to sound pleasant.

"It's a surprise to see you here," her mother returned, kissing her on the cheek.

"I could say the same thing about you."

"I was in the area," Morticia said casually. "I thought I might shop a bit."

Selene didn't have to guess where her mother had been to be "in the area." She also knew that it would be nearly impossible to be rid of her mother, and thus was forced to stand her company.

"Where are you off to now, Selene?"

"Knockturn Alley," she told Morticia. "I have a few more things that I need to purchase before I must return to Hogwarts."

Selene and her mother followed the street until they reached its end where it diverted into Knockturn Alley. The alleyway was dimly lit and dank, a stark contrast to Diagon Alley. The shop windows were covered with a strange green film and those who wandered along the main street were quite dubious characters.

"I've been told that the Dark Lord is quite pleased with your work," Morticia said to her daughter in a low voice. "I was, of course, shocked to learn that he still has yet to give you the Dark Mark, but apparently he has other plans for you before you can receive it."

Selene's jaw clenched slightly, though her mother took no notice of it. The last thing Selene wanted to think about was the possibility that the Dark Lord was going to thrust her into another mission.

"The Dark Lord also seemed to be quite surprised that your potions mastery is equal to, if not greater than, Severus Snape's," her mother continued as they walked. Morticia chuckled. "Then again, anyone who surpasses Snape's skill in anything, especially his loyalty, immediately causes surprise. He is well-known and admired among many of the Death Eaters…"

Quietly, Morticia began to recount incidents from the last war, when the Dark Lord first came to power and Snape proved his ultimate loyalty. While Morticia's eyes gleamed with admiration, Selene's stomach turned with nausea. She didn't want to hear these tales of torture and murder. As soon as she spotted the apothecary shop, she interrupted her mother and quickly escaped inside.

The shop stank even worse than the Apothecary in Diagon Alley and contained a number of gruesome items on display. The shopkeeper didn't even give her a second glance as she studied the shelves for the last items on her list.

Selene couldn't help but repeat in her mind what her mother had told her. She'd already assumed that, as a Death Eater, Snape had done a number of awful things, whether against his will or no. But what her mother had told her was beyond what she had imagined.

She took a breath, as deep as she dared in the suffocating air of the shop. That was not the man she knew; surely he had changed. He worked _against_ the Dark Lord now, for whatever reason. What had happened in the past no longer mattered in the present.

As she reached for a jar on one of the shelves, she felt a hand grab her shoulder. Selene immediately turned, wand in hand, and faced Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Well then," Bellatrix said, her face grinning wickedly. "A bit jumpy, aren't you?"

"Cautious," Selene countered in a calm voice, lowering her wand.

They both turned as the shop door opened. Morticia entered and gave Bellatrix a curt nod.

"Bellatrix."

"Morticia," Bellatrix replied snidely. "I've heard your daughter has become quite well-regarded as of late."

"Indeed she has," Morticia replied. "Unlike some, she knows how to follow instructions without blundering about like an idiot. Must be in her blood," she added with a smirk.

Bellatrix scowled at the both of them before she turned and left the shop, clearly seething.

Selene paid for the last of her purchases, ignoring the both of them. She didn't need to become involved in any more squabbles with the Dark Lord's followers. The Carrows hated her enough as it was, especially when she'd already intervened several more times since Alecto first tried to interrogate that red-haired girl.

After a few more moments, Selene managed to rid herself of her mother and return to Hogwarts. It was only late morning, but the air was still incredibly cold, causing her to shiver even before she reached Hogwarts. The dungeons were hardly any better as she replaced Snape's stores with the items she had bought, but at least the fire that was set beneath the potion offered a little warmth.

For some time, Selene reflected on her mother's stories of Snape's "best displays of loyalty." Despite the fact that his past actions contradicted her, she still refused to accept that he was that sort of man. True, he was harsh, detached, and more often than not an ass, but she knew he was much more than that. She'd seen his face when the doe had approached him the night before.

He was a good man.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I hope everyone enjoys a safe and fun holiday! ~Lady Galadriel

*************************

Selene lost track of the hours that passed as she worked, flipping through numerous spell books and occasionally discarding a brew in disgust. She'd spent the past three days working on developing the potion. Yet every time she thought she'd made progress, a failure seemed to push her back even further.

Selene was so involved with her work and her thoughts that she didn't notice she was no longer alone. She jumped and nearly knocked over a bowl of basilisk scales when Snape placed his hand lightly on her shoulder.

"It's late, Miss Blackwood," he said gently. "I hardly think you'll be able to accomplish a great deal when you're falling asleep at the table."

"I was not," she replied stubbornly. But one look at her overcooked potion made her realize that she had indeed drifted off.

"Damn it!" she swore and held her head in her hands miserably.

With a wave of his wand, Snape vanished the potion from the cauldron. "As Muggles are wont to say, there's no use in crying over spilled milk, Miss Blackwood—or in this case, ruined potion." He looked at her exhausted form and sympathy welled in his heart. Nonetheless, he betrayed nothing of his feelings in his demeanor. "Get some sleep, Miss Blackwood."

With a nod, Selene rose from her seat and began to put away the books and ingredients she had stacked on the table. Snape reached for her arm and stopped her.

"I said to bed, Miss Blackwood," he reprimanded, his tone more harsh than he meant to be.

She looked up at him, her silver-blue eyes slightly wide in shock. She then gave another nod and put down the books in her hands.

"Good night then, Professor," she said quietly, and left the dungeons.

Snape then picked up where she had left off, sorry that he had been so callous. She was not his student, after all, but practically his equal, and worthy of his respect. He quickly glanced over all the ingredients Selene had taken out, as well as several pieces of parchment scribbled with notes in her handwriting. He picked up the notes and read them carefully.

No, she _was_ his equal, he thought. She was absolutely brilliant.

He stowed away the parchment in his desk and put everything else away. Then, after locking the dungeon, he began to follow Selene's path to her chambers. Considering how exhausted she looked, the last thing he needed was to find her collapsed in the halls—or worse, at the bottom of a flight of stairs.

***

Selene walked slowly through the empty halls, her body heavy with fatigue. She was hardly aware of her surroundings, yet somehow her feet were able to navigate the way towards her chambers.

She'd been taken aback by the way Snape spoke to her. Of course, his use of sarcasm and slight condescension had become standard in their exchanges, but never before had he been so severe. If she hadn't been so exhausted, she'd have declared her indignation on the spot and demanded that he never speak to her that way again.

Perhaps she'd deal with it in the morning. Perhaps Snape would even apologize. She snorted derisively at the thought. _Snape, apologize_? She was quite certain he'd rather die first.

As she was about to turn round the corner, a sudden cry of pain brought her from her oblivious state into alertness. She quickly drew out her wand and peered around the corner.

At the end of the corridor Amycus and Alecto Carrow stood with a small first-year boy. Amycus held him in midair with his wand. Alecto, meanwhile, prodded the boy with various curses, making him cry and whimper.

"What do you know of Dumbledore's Army?" Alecto demanded. "If you try to lie I'll blast off each of your toes and fingers, one by one."

"I-I don't know anything," the boy stammered. "I got lost—"

Alecto flung another curse at the boy, who broke into a fresh bout of tears. It was then that Selene stepped out from the corner, her wand raised at the Carrows.

"Let him go," she demanded in a cool voice, her eyes flashing in anger.

The Carrows looked over at her in surprise, but Amycus still kept the boy suspended.

"Well, if it isn't Snape's little pet," Amycus mocked. "Back off, Blackwood, or you're next. This is none of your business."

"_Expelliarmus_!" Selene shouted, and Amycus' wand flew from his hand. The boy fell to the floor and quickly tried to scurry away, but Amycus stepped on his robes and held him fast.

"I said," Selene repeated, stepping forward, "let him go."

Alecto, seeming to comply, began to lower her wand while Amycus took his foot off the boy's robes. Suddenly, Amycus dove for his wand and Alecto yelled out, "_Stupefy_!" Selene managed to avoid the jinx by quickly ducking behind a suit of armor. She promptly shot back, "_Impedimenta_!" She heard Amycus cursing violently and knew her spell had succeeded.

Alecto, on the other hand, continued shouting a stream of spells and jinxes, trying to hit Selene. When Selene heard her shout, "_Confringo_!" she dove away, barely escaping injury as the suit of armor exploded into pieces.

She scrambled to her feet, her wand raised and a curse on her lips. Yet Alecto was quicker. Just before Selene could speak, Alecto bellowed a curse, hitting Selene full blast.

"_Territo_!"

For a brief moment, Selene was stunned. She dropped to her knees and the hallway grew dark. She didn't know what was happening until she saw him before her, that dark figure of her flashbacks. His rank breath, his snarled hair, his cruel eyes as he smothered her. Overcome with fear that penetrated into the very core of her being, she began to scream.

***

Snape shadowed Selene's path, keeping a safe distance away so that he would go undetected. He was down the hall on the fourth floor when he heard raised voices and a commotion. His wand drawn, he rushed to the site.

"_Confringo_!" he heard a voice shout, followed by an explosion.

Pieces of metal flew in the air as he rounded the corner, just in time to see Alecto point her wand and yell, "_Territo_!"

He watched as Selene fell to the floor, her body trembling. Within seconds she began to scream, her voice echoing a fear and pain he had never before heard in his life, not even from the Dark Lord's victims. Fury rushed through his body.

"_Expelliarmus_!" he roared at Alecto.

Selene's screams dissipated as she lay curled on the floor, weeping and shuddering, her nails digging into the floor. Snape knelt by her side and whispered, "_Audentia_." Immediately her eyes widened and she gasped for air, as if she had been suffocated, and then fell unconscious.

He stood and turned to the Carrows, his face livid with anger. Amycus and Alecto, upon seeing his face, were both alarmed but still faced him defiantly.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Snape demanded. His black eyes gleamed wrathfully.

"She was interfering with our business," Amycus defended, unabashed. "We were interrogating a student, just like the Dark Lord ordered."

Snape grabbed the front of Amycus' robes and yanked him forward. "And did the Dark Lord also order you to attack one of our own?" Snape spat. He released Amycus' robes in disgust. "You have knowingly and deliberately tortured a servant of the Dark Lord, one who is carrying out a crucial order of his. I expect both of you in my office tomorrow morning, and if I do not find even the slightest justification for your actions, I will bring you before the Dark Lord himself."

Amycus' eyes narrowed. "Oh yes," he said through gritted teeth. "We will indeed be speaking to the Dark Lord."

Without another word, he beckoned to his sister and the two of them turned and stalked down the hall.

Snape went back to Selene's side; he felt her forehead and checked her pulse. She was cold yet drenched with sweat, her pulse raced, and her breathing was raspy. Without a second thought he lifted her into his arms quite easily, for she was surprisingly light, and carried her to his office.

As soon as he arrived, he locked the door and laid Selene's unconscious body on the couch before the fire. He then began to make a restorative tea and took out a healing salve for the cut on her forehead—no doubt caused by the shrapnel of Alecto's Confringo Curse.

The portraits around the office remained sleeping, unperturbed by Snape's presence. However, Dumbledore's portrait was suddenly filled with the former Headmaster's concerned face.

"What happened, Severus?" Dumbledore inquired.

"The Carrows," Snape hissed. "I don't know what happened; they must have been torturing a student when she confronted them. Alecto used the Terror Curse on her."

The features of Dumbledore's portrait paled. "Oh dear," he murmured.

Snape crouched down by the couch. "Selene," he whispered, and in the back of his mind he loved the sound of her name, loved the feel of it upon his lips. He gently tried to shake her awake. For a moment she did not respond, but then abruptly her eyes flew open, wide and filled with terror. She fought to try and move away from him, repeating wildly, "Get away from me, get him away, don't let him hurt me—"

Snape quickly grabbed her by the arms and held her tightly. "Selene," he said firmly, "look at me. No one is going to hurt you."

She was hyperventilating, her eyes flitting rapidly around the room, as if she didn't know where she was. Finally, her eyes met his and she seemed to recognize him. She collapsed into his arms, weeping and clutching him. Snape, unsure of what to do, simply held her. It took all his resolve not to be overcome by the soft weight of her body, her silken hair that smelled of jasmine, her vulnerability and complete trust in him.

They stayed so for almost half an hour. Gradually, Selene's sobs died down. After a few moments, when her breathing had become heavy, Snape saw that she was asleep. He carefully lifted her back onto the couch and put a blanket over her.

The entire time Dumbledore's portrait had studied Snape. Though he knew better than to mention it, Dumbledore had seen the emotion in Snape's face, his care, concern—his _love_—for Selene.

Snape collapsed into the chair by his desk, completely drained. "What terrible event," he questioned hoarsely, "could cause such terror?"

Dumbledore remained silent for a moment. "I told you before that her name was familiar to me," he said quietly, his blue eyes filled with sadness. "I remember why."

Snape looked to the portrait expectantly. Yet Dumbledore could only look to Selene's sleeping form with the tenderest sympathy. He shook his head.

"It would be wrong of me to tell you, Severus," Dumbledore said. "Just allow me to say that Selene Blackwood suffered a very traumatizing event at the hands of a Muggle when she was but a child. It was a secret kept quiet, at least among the elite circles, but I overheard something of it from a Ministry official not long after it happened."

All of a sudden Snape recalled Voldemort's words the day he'd met Selene: "_Such a beautiful pureblood creature, wouldn't you agree, Severus? Even in her youth she knew the weakness and brutality of Muggles; she understood that they are pathetic and worthless creatures._" He dared not imagine all the horrid possibilities of what happened to Selene.

"I'll flay Alecto Carrow alive for this," Snape burst out violently, his voice thick with emotion.

"Do not lose your temper, Severus," Dumbledore said sternly. "No matter how you might feel you can not arouse any suspicion, not when Harry still needs our help."

Snape scowled at the mention of Harry Potter. That name was the last thing he wanted to hear at this point.

Dumbledore continued, softening his tone: "Have you planned out a way to lead him to Godric Gryffindor's sword?"

Snape nodded. "Once this mess with the Carrows clears up, I'll take care of the matter."

"Good."

***

It seemed that an eternity passed while Selene remained trapped and lost in the dark recesses of her mind, confronted by the nightmarish images of her past. For years she had strived to bury it, to hide it, to never deal with it again.

Finally, her eyelids fluttered open. As her eyes came into focus, she glanced around, noting the dying embers in the fireplace, the couch she lay on, and the shelves of jars. It took several moments before she realized that she was in Snape's office.

Slowly she tried to sit up, despite the fiery sensations that scorched through every part of her body. As she stirred, a dark form came to her side. Before she could let out a shriek, a low voice murmured, "_Incendio_," renewing the fire. The light revealed the face of Severus Snape and instantly Selene calmed down.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

Selene gave a slight groan as she managed to prop herself upright. "I've been better."

He handed her a mug of steaming tea, which she accepted and drank gratefully. It quickly soothed her nerves and refreshed her.

Meanwhile, Snape lit several lamps and pushed the drapes aside from the window. Outside, the grey sky gave way to the pale light of dawn. In the faint light Selene studied him closely; his face was pallid and drawn, and he had dark circles beneath his eyes. She wondered if he had slept at all during the night. A strange feeling wrung her heart at the thought.

After a few moments, Selene struggled to stand. A wave of nausea and dizziness overcame her and she would have fallen over if Snape hadn't grasped her arm to steady her. She managed to remain standing and soon her head cleared. She became keenly aware of Snape's hands on her arm and lower back, how close he stood to her. It was then that she noticed that his hair was no longer greasy but well-washed; his breath no longer sour and his beard recently trimmed. She also detected the sweet, pungent aroma of herbs from his robes and recalled the distant memory of being carried away by him, saved from her nightmare.

She looked up into his dark, unreadable eyes. Her heart began to pound as they held each other's gaze for several moments. Eventually, Snape broke the silence and asked, "Are you well enough to return to your room?"

Selene nodded, not daring to trust her voice to answer. He then helped her to the staircase and by that point she was able to stand on her own. She made her way down the stairs and to her chambers, then collapsed on her bed in exhaustion. She did not sleep, but merely lay there for a while, her mind drifting aimlessly.

Her thoughts turned to Snape, and that strange feeling fluttered once more in her stomach. She'd never before experienced such a feeling and had no idea how to explain it. All she understood was the overwhelming care she felt for Snape, how she trusted and admired him.

_Am I in love with him_?

She couldn't answer the question. She didn't know what it was to be in love, or to even have affection for another person. Moreover, she didn't even know what it felt like to be loved. But she couldn't explain it any other way.

Eventually, she managed to gather the energy to wash and dress herself. As she slowly braided her long black hair, she finally understood.

She made her way downstairs to the dungeons, passing several students along the way. Many of the students chattered about going home for the holidays. She recalled her own school days at Durmstrang, when she rarely returned home except in the summertime. Even then she was solitary, often spending her time reading and experimenting rather than socializing with her fellow students.

Once Selene had retreated into the dungeons and locked the door, she began searching for the notes she had made the previous night. She found them in Snape's desk and resumed her research. One book that she was particularly keen on browsing through she'd found buried in the recesses of the Restricted Section a few days before. It was incredibly tattered and stained and at least several centuries old. She took it from the stack of books on the desk and gingerly started to leaf through it, making notes as she did so. The handwriting was small and difficult to decipher, so it took her quite some time to read.

About halfway through the book, she came across a page that greatly piqued her interest. It was a binding potion, like many of the ones they had been examining, but slightly different. Selene sat there for a few moments, lost in thought as she stared at the page.

A sudden thought occurred to her and she furiously scribbled it down on parchment before the thought was lost. She then took the parchment, placed it in the book as a marker, and ran all the way upstairs to the seventh floor. She clutched the book tightly to her chest.

Finally, she made it to the stone gargoyle at the end of the seventh floor hallway.

"Asphodel," she said breathlessly, and hurried up the steps.

Just before she went to knock on the oak door, however, she was stopped by loud voices. She stepped quietly away from the door, listening carefully.

"Have you any proof whatsoever that the student was a member of Dumbledore's Army?" she heard Snape's voice ask.

"He was wandering the halls late at night," Amycus Carrow responded. "That's enough grounds for interrogation."

"Except you weren't 'interrogating,' were you?" Snape accused angrily. "I questioned the student myself—you were torturing him, and even used the Cruciatus Curse on him."

"He's lying!" Alecto Carrow shrieked.

"I should hardly think a first-year can lie while under the influence of Veritaserum," Snape countered. "And as it turns out, he also has no association with Dumbledore's Army, either. In this instance, I believe I can assuredly say that the two of you made a serious blunder; not only did you needlessly torture a student, but you also attacked one of our own."

Amycus snorted derisively. "Come off it, Snape! Just because she's your little plaything does not mean she's one of our own. Not unless she bears the Dark Lord's mark."

Selene's jaw dropped slightly. _Snape's 'plaything'_?

"Frankly, we're getting quite sick of her interfering with our business and you siding with her because of it. It makes me wonder whose side she's _truly_ on."

"You're swimming in treacherous waters, Amycus," Snape said, his voice menacing. "First of all, your insinuations regarding my relationship with Miss Blackwood are as unwarranted as they are insulting. Secondly, Miss Blackwood has been steadfast in her allegiance to the Dark Lord ever since she joined our side. She's even been named one of the most faithful, despite the fact that the Dark Lord has yet to give her his mark. As I recall, it has been quite some time since the Dark Lord has placed such assurances in _your_ loyalties."

"I still plan on discussing this with the Dark Lord," Amycus muttered angrily.

"Go right ahead," Snape replied evenly.

Selene heard footsteps approaching the door and quickly cast a Disillusionment Charm to avoid being seen. She stifled her breathing as much as possible as the Carrows exited the office and descended the staircase.

When it was clear, she lifted the charm and calmed her pounding heart. She then knocked on the door and entered the office after hearing Snape's irritated, "Come in."

He was standing before the fire, his brow furrowed. He turned to Selene as she walked in.

"Yes, Miss Blackwood?" he asked brusquely.

"I found something you might be interested in, Professor," she answered. She stood there, waiting for him to take the book, but he only turned back to face the fire again. Finally, she placed the book on his desk and left the office without another word.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday celebrations. The next post will be sometime after the New Year. Enjoy! ~Lady Galadriel

****************************

For most of the day, Selene remained in the dungeons working. Yet her mind was distracted; several times she found herself holding a container of ingredients and couldn't remember what she intended to do with them. Even worse, at one point she nearly added Doxy venom instead of belladonna, which would have resulted in quite an explosion. After that, she tried to keep her thoughts in order and pay attention.

Several hours passed before she heard the door open at the top of the stairs, followed moments later by Snape's entrance into the dungeon. He brought with him the book that Selene had given him earlier and set it on the table. He then began to rummage through his stores, occasionally placing a container or jar beside the book. All the while, he never spoke a word to her.

Selene bit her lip, unsure of what to say or do. At last she knew and understood her own feelings, but did he feel the same way as she did? The way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her, the way he saved and defended her from the Carrows—what other explanation was there if he didn't love her?

At last, she gathered the courage and stepped forward towards him. She cleared her throat and began hesitantly, "Professor—"

"Yes, Miss Blackwood?" he interrupted impatiently.

His tone bolstered her courage; she hated when he spoke to her like that and she was quite sure he was aware of it, too. "Professor," she repeated, her voice more calm and confident, "I would like to ask about the conversation I overheard between you and the Carrows."

Snape continued his search through the cabinet, still refusing to look at her. "What of it, Miss Blackwood?"

Annoyed, Selene walked over to him and shut the cabinet doors before he had another chance to reach in. Snape turned to face her, his eyebrow raised in surprise. She held his gaze, her silver-blue eyes locked onto his.

"I want to know…" she said quietly, then paused. "Do you have feelings for me?"

Snape's mouth twitched. "I assure you, Miss Blackwood," he replied, his tone slightly patronizing, "that my 'feelings,' as you put it, extend only as far as regarding you as a colleague." He then moved past her to the table where he'd set everything down.

_No_. As much as he hid his true self, as much as he feigned indifference, she saw the betraying look in his eyes. She grabbed his arm and pulled him so that they faced each other again.

"You're a liar," she accused softly.

Selene's words stuck in his mind; he could barely stand the gaze of her radiant, penetrating eyes. Yet he maintained his composure all the same. "Am I?" he responded, his jaw firmly set. He could not let her see, she could not know anything.

She stared into his face for another moment before she let go of his arm. Her expression was indescribably beautiful, despite the fact that it was filled with surprise and hurt.

Although it pained him, Snape continued, adding fierce venom to his words: "If you're quite done with your games now, Miss Blackwood, I have _work_ to do," making the emphasis as a final deterrent.

Selene backed away and returned to her table. She fought the unwelcome tears that stung in her eyes; she refused to let even one fall in his presence. She took a deep breath and attempted to continue her work. Several moments passed before she said, "I'm sorry for my incorrect assumption. I suppose it was foolish of me to think that you could have any more 'feelings' for me than you would for one of your blundering students."

A sudden crash startled her and she looked over to Snape. He stood, leaning forward against the table, the debris of a container of something all over the floor. She couldn't help but stare, shocked.

He turned to her, his black eyes glittering dangerously. He began to walk towards her, each step deliberate, and she couldn't help but back herself against the table, slightly frightened.

"Do you want to know how I feel for you—my true feelings?" he asked in a low, deadly voice. Before Selene could answer, Snape swiftly leaned down and pressed his lips hard against hers. For a moment she couldn't respond, couldn't even register in her mind what was happening. Then, as soon as she began to return his kiss, he pulled away.

"Forgive me," he said roughly. "I should not have done that."

Before he could turn away, however, Selene grabbed him and pulled him into an embrace, returning his kiss. They stood there for moments, hours, days it seemed, kissing fervently. Finally, breathless, their lips parted.

They remained silent for a while in each other's arms, their foreheads touching. Eventually, Snape spoke, his voice throaty:

"Your badgering, by the way, has cost me three ounces of crushed dragon scales, which runs at about twenty Galleons an ounce."

"Eighteen," Selene corrected, "and what you can't salvage I'll gladly repay you." She then pressed her lips to his once more. This time their kisses were calmer, though with just as much passion as before. He ran his hands along the length of her back, sending tingling sensations along her spine, while she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close.

After a while, they were merely content to hold one another. Snape lightly ran his fingers through Selene's dark hair, which had fallen loose from its plait. The light scent of jasmine floated throughout the air. She could not help but lean against him, her eyes closed, and sigh in contentment.

"The Dark Lord is expecting us soon," Snape murmured. "The Carrows have complained to him about what happened last night and he wishes to speak with you."

Selene turned to look up at Snape. She knew they both shared the same worry. "If he tries Legilimency, I can hold my own against him," she replied.

"Don't underestimate him, Selene," Snape warned. "If he truly means to interrogate you, I fear you will not be able to defend yourself against him."

"I just won't give him a reason to interrogate me, then," she said. "He has no cause to doubt my loyalty up until this point."

Snape nodded but he was by no means reassured. He knew the methods of the Dark Lord too well and he feared for her. She'd suffered enough already.

"Do you love me?" she asked suddenly.

Her question stunned and shook him to his core; he couldn't even begin to form a response in his mind. He gazed into her luminous eyes and tenderly pushed a strand of her hair away from her face.

"I'm not even sure I have the capacity to love," he whispered. "I'm a wretched man, Selene, and undeserving of the tenderness and love you offer. I couldn't even promise you that I would be able to return such love. I have done terrible things that I cannot possibly be absolved of, even if I manage to survive this war." He paused for a moment, then asked, "Do you really want to sacrifice yourself for a doomed man?"

"There is no greater sacrifice I'd rather make than to love you," she said. "My choice is not based on some naive altruistic notion, but simply based on the fact that I love you. Even if you are a doomed man, you are a good one, whether you admit it or not, and are worthy of love."

Snape had never heard such words spoken to him before. The only person who had ever shown him any measure of respect and care had been Dumbledore, and he'd been forced to kill him. Now, for some unfathomable reason, this young woman he held in his arms loved him, cared for him, and was willing to give her love freely, even if he was condemned to death.

He kissed her again fiercely, no longer caring about anything else in the world.

***

The afternoon sun was waning as Snape and Selene walked along the snow-covered path to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. The air was silent except for the crunching snow beneath their feet. Selene wrapped her cloak tightly around her against the cold.

They stopped by a group of young trees. Before they Disapparated, however, Snape touched Selene's arm. She turned to him, and he drew her close and kissed her long and passionately. When they parted, Snape whispered, "I do love you, Selene. Whatever happens, know that."

She nodded and grasped his hand for reassurance. Then, with a "pop," they Apparated to Malfoy Manor.

The Manor grounds there were lightly covered in snow, though not as much as the Hogwarts grounds. In the failing light, the Manor was black and foreboding, a sharp contrast to the sparkling white snow.

They entered the Manor and were directed to the drawing room. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy sat at the table, along with Bellatrix Lestrange and the Carrows. Lord Voldemort, however, stood at the head of the table, his back towards them. When he heard their entrance, he turned and faced them, his red, snakelike eyes glaring brightly.

"Miss Blackwood," the Dark Lord said, his voice icy. "Come here."

Snape noted that Bellatrix's gaze followed Selene hungrily as she approached the Dark Lord. He was suddenly filled with apprehension, but he remained as calm as ever.

Selene faced the Dark Lord, her eyes averted humbly, yet she maintained a confident composure. Voldemort looked down upon her, his expression unreadable.

"Miss Blackwood," he began, "I understand you had a bit of an altercation with the Carrows last night."

"I did, my Lord," Selene replied evenly.

"You attacked them while they were interrogating a student," he accused in a deadly voice.

"If I may be so bold as to correct you, my Lord, I merely disarmed Amycus Carrow," she defended. "They were torturing a first-year student out in the open hallway. It was then that Alecto Carrow attacked me."

The Dark Lord lifted Selene's face with a long finger so that he could look into her eyes. He gazed at her intensely, his eyes scrutinizing her. Snape could tell, even from a distance, that he was using Legilimency on her.

After a few moments, Voldemort turned to Snape. "Were there any justifications for the Carrows' actions, Severus?" he asked in a cool tone. "Was the student indeed a member of this 'Dumbledore's Army' or have any information regarding it?"

"No, my Lord," Snape answered smoothly. "I questioned the student myself using Veritaserum. If there had been any legitimate reason for this, my Lord, I would have made sure to settle the matter myself. However, the fact that the Carrows conducted this in the open can potentially put us into jeopardy—"

Voldemort raised his hand to silence him. "You don't have to tell me the possible repercussions of this matter, Severus. I am well aware that the Carrows acted foolishly and I will deal with that as well. However," he added with a leering grin, "it is quite obvious that you are not incensed by this simply because of the possible 'jeopardy' the Carrows put us in."

Bellatrix snickered wickedly.

Voldemort turned back to Selene, his eyes piercing. "As for you, Miss Blackwood," he continued, "I did not expect such…_compassion_ from you on behalf of the half-blood filth fouling the halls of Hogwarts. I will not tolerate any conflicts amongst my followers regarding my orders and how they are to be carried out. You have your own task that I charged you with. I suggest that you keep to that instead of meddling in other affairs." He turned back to the fireplace and waved his hand in dismissal.

Selene began to walk away, inwardly sighing in immense relief. She had only taken a few steps, however, before the Dark Lord stopped her again.

"Before you go, Miss Blackwood…perhaps you need a little reminder of how futile your compassion is for Muggles."

At that moment, Bellatrix stood from the table, her eyes gleaming maliciously. She raised her wand at Selene and screeched with pleasure, "_Territo_!"

Selene barely uttered a cry before the curse hit her. At once her vision grew blurred and dark, and she was overwhelmed with terror. It was him again—he was on top of her, brutalizing her, strangling her with his bare, coarse hands. She was screaming and weeping, unable to stop him, unable to defend herself. She couldn't breathe. She thought she would die; she wished for death.

Snape watched in horror as Bellatrix cackled with sick delight, barely able to hide his revulsion as she tormented the woman he loved. Selene was shrieking in agony and convulsing on the floor of the drawing room. Voldemort, meanwhile, observed the scene, his lips twisted into a grin.

It didn't end. The torture seemed to last for ages. Yet for a brief moment, Selene saw out of the corner of her eye the distorted form of Bellatrix and heard her laughter. Desperately, she reached for her wand.

Only Snape seemed to notice Selene's movements. He saw her fingers clutch her wand as she rolled onto all fours. He saw her look up at Bellatrix, her eyes flaring in white-hot anger.

"_Crucio_!" Selene screamed at Bellatrix.

Immediately, Bellatrix's laughter was replaced with painful screeching. In a role reversal, she fell to the floor while Selene gradually stumbled to her feet, her wand still aimed at Bellatrix. Snape couldn't help but stare in shock as the intense fury radiated from Selene's body, manifesting itself in Bellatrix's torment. She was no longer ice but white-hot fire.

Bellatrix's suffering lasted just as long as Selene's before Voldemort stopped her, laughing and applauding. Selene's concentration was broken and the curse ended. Bellatrix remained on the floor, now unconscious.

"Well done, Miss Blackwood," the Dark Lord congratulated in approval. "I believe you've learned your lesson." He caught Snape's gaze then. "I expect you won't forget it."

Selene was still shaking, her mind reeling. She barely noticed when Snape took hold of her arm and guided her out of the drawing room, then out of the Manor into the cold winter air. She wasn't even aware of Snape Side-Along Apparating her into Hogsmeade until she realized she couldn't take another step.

"Selene—" Snape began.

A rush of horror and disgust overcame her and she collapsed to her knees into the snow, retching. She stayed there, gasping for breath, feeling the bitter cold of the snow bite into her bare skin. She felt Snape kneel beside her but put her hand out to stop him.

"Please," she begged hoarsely. "Don't touch me."

Some time passed and still Selene couldn't bring herself to move, even though her robes were soaked from the snow. It had quickly become dark and oppressively silent.

Finally, she managed to stammer, "I-I need to get to my bedroom." She couldn't push the images from her mind, no matter how hard she tried. They raced through her mind, overpowering her easily, making her weak and helpless.

Snape helped her up and held her close as they returned to the castle. It took nearly half an hour for them to get to Selene's room, given her weakened state, but thankfully they encountered no one on the way.

Selene managed to unlock the door and stumbled into her room. She instantly went to her trunk, opened it, and began to frantically search through it. Snape closed the door and monitored Selene's actions, wondering what she was doing. With trembling hands, she removed several jars from the trunk labeled "Moonstone," "Hellebore," "Wormwood," and "Valerian root." She began to measure the ingredients and mix them in a cauldron.

Snape grabbed her wrists before she could continue, knocking the jar from her hands. It fell to the floor, scattering crushed Valerian root everywhere.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" he demanded.

She stared at him, her eyes frightened and crazed. "I-I can't stop him," she whispered. "I can feel him, see him, hear him—he won't go away, he won't stop hurting me—" Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

"Selene," Snape said softly. "Whatever happened, he can't hurt you anymore. It's over now."

"You don't understand," she said, her voice full of agony. "He's always there, in my mind. I can't get rid of him, I've tried so hard to bury him away—" She broke down into sobs.

Snape stood there with Selene in his arms, infuriated with himself that he could not think of anything to help her. After a few moments, however, her sobs ceased and she broke away from him. She stooped to the floor and tried to clean up the Valerian root.

He stopped her. "Allow me," he told her quietly. He led her to the armchair and then proceeded to clean up the dried herb. Then, he scanned the contents of her trunk and began to make a Calming Draft.

Selene stayed in the armchair, her eyes staring vacantly into the fire. She barely moved, even when Snape handed her a mug of the Calming Draft, though she drank it obediently. Gradually, her breathing became more regular as the potion began to take effect and her eyes grew more clear and aware. Her expression, nonetheless, was still blank and emotionless.

"I passed the test, at least," she murmured. "He still doesn't know about us. He only saw my memory of last night."

Snape remained silent. The secrecy of his mission had always come at such a high price. It had already taken Dumbledore's life; would it also cost him the woman he loved?

"Selene," he said firmly, "I know from personal experience that the Dark Lord uses our own personal demons against us. I promise you that as long as you remain plagued by this terror, he will continue to exploit it." He knelt before her and looked into her eyes. "Whatever this is, you must overcome it."

A fresh stream of tears flowed down her cheeks. "You don't understand."

"Then help me understand."

She took a deep, rasping breath but didn't speak. "I was nine years old," she began finally, her voice barely audible. "I was playing in the woods by my parents' house in Germany. That's where he found me. He threw me into the bushes a-and…" Her voice trailed off. She couldn't continue, but Snape knew what she would say next.

_Even in her youth she knew the weakness and brutality of Muggles_…

"I couldn't fight him. I was too small and he held me down," she continued. "As he finished he started to strangle me. I was choking, still trying to scream for help, when—I killed him. I don't know what happened. One moment I was dying, and the next there was a flash, and he was thrown off me, dead on the ground."

She now stared at the floor. "I was found an hour later, unconscious. My parents were horrified. They hushed everything up as best as they could so that no one would know that a pureblood witch was raped by a Muggle."

The tears flowed freely from Selene's eyes but she did not weep—no doubt an effect of the Calming Draft. She looked up at Snape and smiled weakly. He could think of nothing to say, no comfort to offer her. Instead, he pulled her gently into his arms and held her tightly.

Finally, she began to weep, releasing the fear that had terrorized her for so long, until there was nothing left.

***

After a while, Selene fell asleep in her bed. Snape stayed with her for about an hour longer, unable to leave until he was sure she was all right. Even though she tossed and turned, as if troubled by her dreams, she still slept deeply.

He quietly left her room and headed to his office, deep in thought. The sight of Bellatrix torturing Selene burned in his mind; her screams still rang in his ears. He was certain that the Carrows had told the Dark Lord about the Terror Curse; he was also certain that the "lesson" had not been only for Selene, but for him as well. The Dark Lord knew Snape was in love with her.

Snape entered his office and collapsed in the armchair. Though it was late, he knew he would not be able to sleep. For the first time in his life, he was unsure of what to do. He still had to maintain the façade of his allegiance to Voldemort and complete the "severing" potion. He also had to help Potter, as much as he detested it. Yet how could he, when the woman he loved was suffering?

He realized then how much he had changed, how much he was still changing, on account of Selene. He was certainly not the same man he was just several months ago. She had inspired within him a part of himself that he long thought dead: the capacity to love. He cared for her beyond all reason; she complicated every calculation that he had made and threw his mind into chaos. Up until this point, he'd played the game with detached proficiency, weighed every risk, thrown away lives without a second thought.

Now he paused with the slightest hesitation. He could not move forward without considering Selene's position in the game and how she would be affected by his actions. Previously, he would have resented such a burden, yet now he welcomed having someone by his side, someone to fight for and to fight alongside. He'd never experienced such tenderness for another person before, nor had he ever received the compassion and kindness she showed him.

He ran his hand through his hair, an uncharacteristic gesture. He was growing more exacerbated by such helplessness, such torpor. Not only was he unable to heal any of Selene's mental wounds, but he was unable to proceed in his mission until he was certain that she was whole again.

_But she can never be whole again_, Snape realized. Selene had been brutalized as a child, and since then she had used an almost deadly concoction to keep herself from remembering and dealing with the pain of that memory. She was damaged and nearly broken; many would have long ago given up their lives rather than gather the strength to continue. Yet even now she still struggled, and though he agonized over it, he was fairly sure that she would not give up. She demonstrated a strength that far exceeded his comprehension, and he admired her even more for it.

And he would do his best to help her.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I...am a terrible person. It's been well over five months since I updated, and I am terribly sorry. This semester was hellish and I completely forgot about updating with the remaining chapters of Part One. So, let's try this again, shall we? ^_^U As always, feel free to leave any comments; reviews are always appreciated! ~Lady Galadriel

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When Selene woke again, the sky was still dark. She felt terrible: her eyes were blurred and groggy, her head ached tremendously, and she thought that she might vomit at any moment. She reached over to her nightstand, poured a glass of water, and drank it ravenously.

She couldn't be certain how long she'd been asleep, although judging by the sky only a few hours had passed. She stood up from the bed and immediately fell to the floor before she could stop herself. She let out a cry of pain; her body was so weakened. After a moment she managed to climb to her feet again and support herself against the bed.

Memories of what occurred that day flashed through her mind. She willed herself to block them but to no avail. Her barriers were gone and she realized that she could no longer hide from her past. She was alone in the darkness, surrounded by nightmares. She had nowhere to run, nowhere to turn. All her work and effort had been for nothing; it'd only left her beaten and wretched. More than ever, she wanted to die, to leave behind all the suffering that she'd fought so hard to escape.

_I do love you, Selene. Whatever happens, know that_.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered those words, the feel of his lips on hers, his warm body. He had saved her yet again from the brink and brought her back. He knew the darkest stain on her soul and yet he still loved her.

With renewed determination she stripped off her robes and changed into her nightclothes. Rather than return to her bed, she wrapped herself in a throw blanket and reclined in the window seat. She gazed up through the window and watched the faint shapes of clouds pass through the sky, sporadically revealing the glow of the stars. She could not sleep but sat there for some time, simply staring into the blackness of the night.

Finally, the sun began to rise over the dark treetops of the Forbidden Forest. The dawn sky was aglow with light and a myriad of blues, reds, and golds. She leaned further back against the cushions of the window seat and closed her eyes, feeling the warm light shine on her face.

She briefly lost consciousness as she fell into a doze. At one point she was aware of a knock on her door but ignored it. It was only when she sensed movement close to her when she forced her eyes open.

Snape's dark eyes met hers. He'd placed a vial on her nightstand.

"I made another Calming Draft, if you should need it," he told her quietly.

She nodded, unable to speak, but reached out her hand for his.

Her hand was cold; Snape grasped it in both of his. Even in the morning light, Selene's face was pale and she had dark circles beneath her eyes. He kissed her forehead and felt her other hand reach up and touch his cheek.

"I can still see him in my mind," she whispered. Her eyes stared into his, shining with unspoken pain and vulnerability. "How do you face something you've run from for so long?"

"Because you have no other choice," he replied. "Because no matter how you try to escape it, it will always catch up with you." He recalled his own pain of facing the memories of the past. How long had it taken him to come to terms with the murders and crimes he'd committed in the Dark Lord's service? Even now, after accepting his actions, he still despised himself.

Selene fell silent then for several moments and stared out the window, her hand still holding Snape's. He sat down opposite her on the window seat.

"Did you start the potion?" she asked.

He nodded. "This morning."

"Do you think it will work?"

"I'm sure of it," Snape said. He then admitted, "Your finding was quite brilliant."

A slight blush spread across Selene's cheeks. Snape could tell that his compliment pleased her. "Thank you."

He stood up. "I should leave," he said. "I have some work I need to take care of. Will you be all right?"

Selene nodded. They gazed at each other; Snape thought to kiss her but was uncertain until she drew him close. He kissed her then, gently, his lips lingering on hers. Finally he turned and left her room.

Selene wrapped the blanket tightly around her shoulders and sighed heavily. She felt as if her very life force had been drained from her body, leaving her hanging by a thread. The barriers she had built against her past had been shattered and she clung desperately to the sanity she had left. However, she refused to be defeated or to allow such terror to control her life any further.

The sun rose higher in the sky, casting its rays over the snow-covered ground and chasing away the chill of the winter morning.

***

The next few days passed in a haze. Selene drifted in and out of sleep and remembered only vague shadows of images. Her only vivid recollections were when she found herself bolted upright in her bed, sweating and gasping, horrific images racing through her mind. Somehow, she managed to fall back asleep, whether by force or because her exhausted body could not resist. She also remembered the feeling of a strong pair of arms holding her up as a draught was held to her lips, forcing her to drink.

When she awoke again, it was morning. The bright sunshine filtered through the windows, giving a warm golden glow to her room. For the first time in quite a while, she felt aware and alert, though her physical strength was still considerably diminished. However, she was at least able to stand and slowly walk over to the fireplace. It was then that she noticed with a start of surprise that Snape was there, fast asleep on the couch. Taking care not to wake him, she filled the tea kettle with water and began to prepare tea. She was nearly finished when she lifted the kettle and almost dropped it, due to the unexpected heaviness it had on her weakened muscles.

"Damn," she muttered, rubbing her arm.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Selene turned to see Snape watching her, his expression unreadable. She gestured to the kettle.

"I should think it's rather obvious. I always have tea in the morning."

"You should be in bed," he snapped. He swiftly took the kettle from her and held out his hand to help her stand.

She stubbornly struggled to her feet without his help. "One of these days," she told him irritably, "I'm going to slap you so hard for speaking to me that way you'll lay Runespoor eggs."

Snape's eyes glittered in amusement and for a brief second she thought she saw his mouth twitch in a smile. "I should hardly think that someone who's unable to even lift a tea kettle is in any position to accomplish such a feat." Yet his tone was far from mean; in fact, it was quite apparent that he was teasing her affectionately. He placed the kettle over the fire.

"That doesn't mean I won't try," she replied. Her body was suddenly cold in the chill room and she gave an uncontrollable shudder.

Snape draped a blanket over her shoulders and gently began to rub her arms to warm her. "I told you, you should be in bed," he said softly. "You've been quite ill the past few days. It's going to take some time before your body will fully recover."

Selene gave a nod of her head in acquiescence. She could read clearly in his eyes that he'd been worried about her, but she made no mention of it. Instead, she asked, "What day is it?"

"Friday, the twelfth."

She'd been in that hellish state for three days. It was already two weeks until Christmas.

"I think I'd like to take a bath first. Something I'm quite capable of doing myself," she quickly added as Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Very well then," he said. "I'm still remaining out here, however, to make sure you don't drown."

It was Selene's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Right." She said nothing further but made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She proceeded very cautiously as she drew her bath; the last thing she needed was to have a careless slip and have Snape come rushing in on her.

_Who says that would be a bad thing_? a voice whispered in the back of her mind. She blushed furiously at the thought.

As she washed, she began to reflect on everything that had happened the past several days—at least, as much as she could remember. It surprised her that already she possessed a calm mind and was able to think so clearly. If she hadn't known better, she would have declared herself well again and continued as she normally would.

But she knew she was far from healed. She could still sense the frailty of her mind and knew that the slightest trigger would smash into pieces what was left. She could only wait; she may have faced the darkness but she still traveled in it.

When Selene came out of the bathroom, she was wearing a simple pair of dark pants and a thick grey sweater. She looked more relaxed and seemed to have gained more strength. Snape was astonished at how beautiful she was, even in her simple clothes. He handed her a mug of tea, fighting the strong urge to grab her and pull her into his arms.

"Thank you," she said, and began to sip her tea.

As Snape began to prepare a cup for himself, Selene placed her mug on the table. "Severus—"

He started slightly at the sound of his name; it was the first time he'd heard her speak it. Though he had no particular liking for his name, Selene's voice brought a warmth to it that made that made it seem almost pleasant.

"Yes?"

"I want to thank you—"

Snape held up his hand to stop her. "You don't have to thank me for anything."

Selene stepped towards him and their eyes locked for several moments. She lifted her hand and lovingly touched the side of his face. Snape closed his eyes and placed his hand over hers, reveling in her touch. She embraced him then, kissing his cheek and holding him tightly.

Snape held her just as closely, burying his face in her damp, sweet-smelling hair. He still could not fathom how such a beautiful woman could love him and trust him so completely. What had he done to earn it?

After a few moments, she pulled away and kissed him lightly. "You probably need to go," she said. "I'm sure you have work to do."

"Yes, unfortunately," he replied. "But I will return later, if you wish."

Selene nodded.

He kissed her once more and then left her room. She stood by the fire for a few moments, lost in thought. Then, with a heavy sigh, she rummaged through her trunk, pulled out a book, and settled onto the couch.

***

Selene spent the entire rest of the day on the couch reading, something she hadn't done in some time. It wasn't until the room became too dark for her to read before she realized what time it was. At last, she stood up, stretched, and went about the room lighting the lamps.

As she did so, a light knock sounded at her door. She opened it and Snape entered. He looked exhausted.

"Is everything all right?" Selene asked.

"Yes," he responded, waving his hand dismissively. He looked to her in concern. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, though strangely useless and lazy at the same time." She gestured to the couch. "I've been sitting there reading all day."

"Have you eaten at all?"

At that moment, Selene's stomach gave a loud growl. "No," she answered sheepishly.

With a _tsk_, Snape sat her down on the couch and waved his wand. A tray appeared with a small kettle of beef stew, biscuits, and tea.

"Don't _tsk_ at me," Selene protested. "You sound like my mother."

The mortified look on Snape's face was enough to cause her to burst into a fit of laughter.

"I'm sorry," she sputtered in between giggles. "Just—the look on your face—"

"I'm glad my facial expressions provide you with amusement," he said sourly.

At the sound of his tone Selene immediately sobered. "I wasn't laughing at you by any means," she said a bit defensively. "There's no reason to get angry with me."

Snape sighed. "You're right," he murmured after a moment's pause. "I'm sorry, it was just a tiresome day."

"What happened?"

He looked at her in slight surprise. She returned his gaze intently, genuinely interested.

He hesitated before he spoke. "The Carrows have become more aggressive in interrogating the students," he said. "I've had to clean up their messes and deal with the other professors as well. Let's just say the exchanges have not been overly pleasant."

"I can imagine," she said. She took a biscuit from the tray and ate a small bite. "I'll be well enough tomorrow to look after the potion myself. It'll be one less thing you'll have to worry about."

Snape shook his head. "No. You need to rest."

"I also need to feel like I'm more useful than a pile of dead Flobberworms," Selene replied. "It's not as if I'm planning a hike cross-country. I'm quite certain I can manage."

"There's no point in arguing with you, is there?"

Selene smiled. "None whatsoever."

When they finished eating dinner, they sat next to each other in comfortable silence. Selene rested her head on Snape's shoulder while he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

Just as her eyes began to flutter sleepily, Snape's low voice brought her back to wakefulness. "Selene," he began. "May I ask you a personal question?"

She sat up to meet his gaze, curious. "All right."

"Forgive me if this brings back…unpleasant memories…but, why didn't your parents have the memory of what happened to you removed?"

For a moment she couldn't answer. At last, she forced herself to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "They tried," she said. "For a month afterwards the house was constantly visited by Healer after Healer. They tried potions, charms, memory removal…they used Obliviate on me at least a dozen times, which has left quite a few gaps in my childhood memories. Nothing worked. Eventually, they realized that the trauma had been fused into my memory and there was nothing they could do about it." She shook her head. "There's nothing worse than the knowledge that you've lost memories that you'll never regain, memories that you don't even know about," she added, almost to herself.

"What about the potion?" Snape asked.

"I made it myself, a few months after it happened. The doctors had given me a sedative of hellebore and valerian root. I had access to the spell books in our library, so I took the sedative and added to it. After a few tries I managed to get the proportions right so that it worked."

She spoke calmly and without any trace of self-pity in her voice. Nor, certainly, did she seem to desire any pity, least of all his.

"Now, may I ask you a personal question?"

"I suppose it's only fair."

"Why did you start working against the Dark Lord?"

Snape didn't immediately respond, nor could he meet Selene's gaze. "I told you before, I'm a wretched man," he said hoarsely. "I've done the most reprehensible things in the Dark Lord's service; I have tortured and murdered people, I have destroyed lives and families. At first, I had foolishly joined with him in hopes of gaining power over others that I'd never had. Before long, however…" His voice trailed off.

"Your conscience got the better of you," Selene finished.

He looked at her again. "In a word, yes."

"You're still a good man," she said softly.

Snape gave a bark of derisive laughter. "If you knew even half of the things I've done, you wouldn't say so," he replied bitterly.

She hesitated slightly. "But I do know," she admitted.

He stared at her.

"When I went to Diagon Alley, my mother was there," she continued. "She insisted on accompanying me and kept going on about what an honor it was for me to serve the Dark Lord and to work alongside you. She also mentioned some of the things that you are well-known for among the Death Eaters." She didn't continue, but Snape could guess some of the things Morticia Blackwood had probably shared with her daughter.

"Yet you still call me a good man," he stated.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I know the man you are, not the one you were. Just because you are not a saint does not exclude you from goodness. The world is not so easily divided into black and white. When this is over, you can reveal who you truly are, not who you've pretended to be."

He gave a heavy sigh. "When this is over, I'm afraid it won't matter. I have too many enemies on both sides to escape retribution. I only escaped Azakaban after the first war because Dumbledore vouched for me. That isn't going to happen this time."

Selene reached for his hand. "For what it's worth," she said quietly, "you'll have me."

***

The next morning was grey and chill. Dark clouds lingered in the sky, threatening rain. Selene dressed in warm robes and, for the first time in what seemed ages, headed downstairs to the dungeons. She had yet to see Snape that morning, but just as she expected, he was not in the dungeons.

She examined the brewing contents of the cauldron. Given its delicacy, she touched nothing; she still had another hour before she had to add three sprigs of willow leaves. It seemed to be doing quite well, though it would take a bit more time until it was complete.

Though the door was locked, she still took a cautious glance over her shoulder before she went to the storage cabinet. She gathered a few items in her arms, then set up a small cauldron. She worked quickly though carefully, taking special care not to jar the cauldron in any way. In less than an hour, she was finished and poured the contents into a glass vial. She wrapped the vial in a thick cloth and slipped it into her pocket. With a sigh of relief, Selene added the willow sprigs to the potion and ascended the stairs.

She met McGonagall just as she was beginning to climb the marble staircase.

"Miss Blackwood," McGonagall greeted with a nod. "I trust you are feeling much better?"

"Yes, thank you," Selene replied, surprised. She wondered how it had become known that she'd been ill in the first place.

"How is your work faring for your employer?"

"Very well. It's nearly finished."

"A pity that you'll be leaving us soon, then," McGonagall said, though there was no disappointment in her tone. "Good day then, Miss Blackwood."

"Good day, Professor," Selene returned.

She wondered at her brief conversation with McGonagall as she continued up the stairs. The woman had certainly not been overtly friendly with her over the past few months; what had changed?

Selene traveled the halls to the Headmaster's Tower. She knocked when she stood before the oak door of the office but received no answer. To her surprise, the door was unlocked when she tried it. She walked into the office and found it empty.

For a moment she considered what she should do. She could not afford to go looking for him or wait for him to return. Her plans needed to be enacted swiftly, before she lost her nerve. She had no choice.

Selene approached the large desk and found blank parchment and a quill. She wrote a note, choosing her words carefully, then folded and placed it where Snape was sure to find it. She left the office, stopped in her room for a few moments, and made her way from the castle to Hogsmeade.

***

It had been almost fifteen years since Selene had entered the forest on her parents' property. The trees were old and grew close together; the winter brush was covered in a thick layer of snow. Yet even after such a long period of time, she still remembered her way through the trees.

The sun was setting quickly behind her, casting a lengthened form of her shadow before her. As she moved deeper into the woods, her heart began to pound in her chest. She readjusted the broomstick she'd taken to fly here and pressed on.

After walking for about half an hour, she came to a spot where the trees thinned and a great deal of brush grew wild. She took one more step and stopped. She stared a few feet ahead of her at a particular group of bushes and had to steady herself against a tree.

Selene's breathing quickened rapidly and a wave of nausea passed over her. She remembered everything so acutely, as if it was happening to her again. The smell of the forest floor, her muffled screams, the sharpness of the bush limbs as they pierced her skin.

_Enough_.

She wouldn't let it control her life any longer. Snape was right; the man had long been dead and he couldn't hurt her anymore. She'd hid from the memory long enough.

She placed the broom on the snow and walked forward until she stood directly above the place where she'd been raped. Slowly, her hand reached in the pocket of her robes and took out the parcel of cloth. She unwrapped it gently and took the vial into her hand. The liquid gleamed a fiery amber in the fading sunlight. She took one last look at the spot, then threw the vial onto the ground.

The brush and the nearest trees burst into flames.

Selene watched in silence as the flames licked at the wood where the potion had splashed, devouring the entire site. Soon, it would be nothing more than dust and ash.

A searing pain in her fingers caught her attention and she cried out in surprise. Her fingers flickered with tiny flames, which she swiftly put out with the sleeve of her robe. She cursed herself for her carelessness and examined the burns. They were hardly serious, though painful enough.

Already the fire was beginning to die down, but it had done enough. The entire area was burned black; hardly a twig remained. She breathed deeply. The smell of the burning wood and ash filled her lungs. It was strangely and satisfyingly cleansing.

After a few more moments, she retrieved her broomstick and retreated down the path from which she'd come. Her fingers throbbed; she'd have to stop at her cottage and properly bandage them. She couldn't risk being seen at her family's manor, especially once they caught sight of the smoke in the woods.

She Apparated to her cottage, relieved to have finally returned, even if only for a short time. Much of it was covered in snow, though the path to the door was at least clear. Once she was inside, she noted that much of the place was tidy and clean, no doubt thanks to Ivonne, a middle-aged woman from the village about a mile from the cottage who often looked after Selene.

The cottage was cold, but Selene could not muster the energy to light the fire. Instead, she cleaned and bandaged her fingers, dulling the pain with a salve made of Devil's Claw. Once she finished, she proceeded to her bedroom and settled beneath the covers. Within moments, her body began to warm; perhaps it would be better to nap before returning, she thought. She closed her eyes and immediately fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Last chapter! It's a bit longer than previous chapters, simply because it wasn't quite long enough to break into further chapters. I really appreciate the responses I've received; I'm glad everyone has enjoyed this! Part Two is still in the works, but I promise it'll be up here eventually.~Lady Galadriel

*********************

It was early in the morning a day later when Selene managed to slip back into Hogwarts. She'd slept the entire time in her cottage, as if in a coma. And yet, when she awoke, she felt just as weary as if she hadn't slept at all, and even more so after the flight back to Hogwarts. However, despite her exhaustion and her aching fingers, she immediately made her way to the dungeons to check the potion. It was eerily silent and empty.

The potion was a deep blue, almost black. Her brow furrowed in concern, she leaned over the cauldron and sniffed. No, it wasn't spoiled. She could discern several scents of the various ingredients that they'd used, except one.

"I haven't added the Winter's Moon yet," a low voice spoke directly behind her.

Startled, she turned around and found herself face to face with Snape. In her weary state, she hadn't even heard him enter the dungeon.

"I thought as much," Selene answered, catching her breath. Then, she noticed his dark expression and the angry glimmer in his black eyes when he noted the broomstick leaning against the table. Her stomach clenched.

"Welcome back," he said icily.

"Severus," she began, reaching for his hand. "I'm so sorry, I—" She saw him notice the bandages on her fingers and quickly pulled her hand away. However, he managed to grab her hand and she winced in pain.

"What happened?" Snape asked quietly.

"Nothing," she lied.

He unwrapped the bandage, revealing her raw, burned fingers. He studied them for a moment and then commented, "I was wondering why I was suddenly short in ingredients for an Ever-Burn Potion."

Selene pulled her hand away and took the bandage from him. "Why were you looking to make an Ever-Burn Potion in the first place?" she asked as she began to wrap her fingers again.

"I wasn't."

Their eyes locked. A few moments passed in silence before Snape spoke again. "You were gone for two days," he said hoarsely, "and left me nothing more than a note."

Her throat tightened and she stared at the floor. She'd hurt him deeply and hated herself for it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She fought against the tears that welled in her eyes.

His hand touched the side of her face and she lifted her gaze to look at him. Gently, he drew her into his arms and held her.

"If you love me," he whispered into her ear, "don't ever do that to me again."

"I won't," she promised.

***

The Ever-Burn Potion had done more damage to her fingers than Selene had expected. It took almost a week before they healed, which prohibited her from doing any work. It was Christmas Eve when she removed the bandages and was able to flex her fingers without any pain.

She sat at the work table in the dungeons, using her knife to cut the last ingredient, witch hazel bark, into thin, fine pieces. When the amount was precisely half an ounce, she placed the pieces in a clay bowl and handed it to Snape. He added the bark, a pinch at a time, then stirred the potion. It bubbled slightly but did not obviously change in color or consistency.

With a sigh, Snape placed the bowl on the table and closed the spell book. He then turned to Selene.

"That's it, then," she said.

He nodded. "It will be ready by next week. I'll have to notify the Dark Lord."

"I know." Though they had not spoken of it, the time when Selene would have to leave was swiftly approaching. Once the potion was complete, she had no viable reason to stay at Hogwarts. She dreaded the thought of leaving.

She began cleaning up her workspace. "What are your plans for Christmas?" she inquired, changing the subject.

"I have none," Snape replied. Her question surprised him. "I assume you'll be spending the day with your family," he added, hardly daring to hope.

"No," Selene said. "I haven't spent Christmas with my parents in six years, ever since I graduated Durmstrang. They usually go abroad and I'm usually too busy. Not much of a loss, though. An evening with a bottle of mulled elf-wine is far better company than they are any day."

She stepped towards him, her eyes a silvery shimmer in the dim light. "Would you like to spend Christmas with me?" she asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

For a moment Snape did not answer, but merely gazed at her intently. After a long moment of silence, he took her hands in his and gently kissed her healed fingers.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I would like that very much."

***

"One of the advantages of being a Blackwood—if the only advantage," Selene commented as she warmed a wine bottle with her wand, "is having access to the family vineyard." She poured two glasses of the wine and handed one to Snape. "Happy Christmas," she said with a smile.

"The same to you," Snape returned. They touched glasses and sipped their wine.

She looked incredibly lovely, he thought. Selene wore a long black skirt and a deep midnight blue sweater that highlighted her silver-blue eyes. She'd left her ebon hair down, but he noticed it was held back with silver combs. He himself wore his usual robes, though in a surprising and subtle display of vanity, had cleaned himself up, even trimmed his hair and beard. He felt almost childish by trying to impress her, an act which he'd always deemed beneath him. But such was the effect she had on him and he didn't try to fight it. As he watched her, a spark of hope flared in the back of his mind: that one day, when everything was over, he would be with her.

He might even be happy.

The afternoon sunlight streamed through the window, warming the room in addition to the fire. Something glinted out of the corner of Snape's eye on the table by the couch. He saw a small, elaborately wrapped gift box with 'Selene' written elegantly in silver ink on the gift tag.

"Obligatory Christmas present from my parents," Selene stated when she saw Snape notice the gift. "Mother's handwriting, of course." She took another sip of her wine. "Probably something fancy and shiny and completely useless."

"If you've not opened it, how can you be sure?" Snape queried.

"Because I know my mother," she replied. "Her gifts are always some sort of finery that I have no use for. That's the way she's always been: trying to buy my love rather than freely giving me hers in the first place."

Selene fell silent for a moment, gazing out the window at the snow-covered ground and treetops. She then turned to Snape. "Do you have any family?" she asked quietly.

Snape shook his head. "No."

She set down her glass and moved closer to him. "I realized that I know practically nothing about you."

Snape felt his jaw tighten. "Trust me, there's nothing vital or pertinent worth knowing."

"All the same…" Selene's voice trailed off. "I suppose it just sort of hit me that I'm in love with someone I hardly know."

"I know as little of you as you know of me," he said. "Is that such a terrible thing?"

"No." She gave him a small smile. "Don't suppose you'll ever tell me anything, will you?"

Snape shrugged. "Perhaps."

It wasn't long before the sun set and the sky turned a dark grey. Selene poured another glass of wine. The bottle was now more than halfway empty, and Snape was only on his second glass.

Just as Selene was about to take a sip, she glanced out the window and let out a gasp. "It's snowing!" She rushed to the window to watch as the fluffy flakes of snow fell to the ground.

Snape looked after her in amusement. The elf-wine was clearly having its effect on Selene. Her face had the rosy glow of intoxication and her eyes shined.

Selene grabbed her cloak and scarf. "Come on, then," she said to him as she fastened her cloak.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We're going outside."

"You're joking."

"Well, if you're not going, then I'll just go by myself." Her eyes gleamed mischievously, as if to challenge him.

Snape gave a resigned sigh. "Well, if you're going to act like a complete drunken fool, then I might as well look after you."

"I am not drunk." She opened the door and went out.

Snape followed Selene outside onto the grounds. The air was cold and still as the snow fell steadily. Much of the previous snowfall had already been freshly covered. Selene literally skipped down the path to the lake, her dark cloak fluttering behind her.

"It's lovely out," she said, breathless. "Absolutely lovely."

Her head buzzed from the elf-wine. She felt as light as air, her blood racing through her veins. She picked up a handful of snow and began to pack it into a ball. Snape was gazing up at the sky, lost in thought, when she threw the ball and hit him on his side.

Selene turned away, giggling.

_Fwap!_ A cold, solid object hit her right in the back of her head.

She whirled around, gaping in surprise.

He looked at her, his eyebrow raised, his expression completely blank. "What?"

Selene scooped up another snowball and threw it; it landed just short but scattered snow over Snape's boots.

"I think that's quite enough, Selene."

"Nope, don't think so." She threw another one, but Snape stopped it in mid-air with his wand.

"Oh, that's not fair," she declared in disappointment.

Rather than dropping to the ground, Snape gave a flick of his wand and it raced back and hit Selene square in the chest.

"Who says it has to be fair?"

She started laughing. "Now that's just cheating!" She took her own wand from her sleeve and whisked a snowball back.

It soon erupted into a full-blown snowball fight. Selene ran around, occasionally slipping in the snow and throwing snowballs at Snape. Snape managed to dodge some of Selene's snowballs, flinging his own back at her. Finally, she slipped and fell into the snow, laughing hysterically.

Snape walked over to her and held out his hand. She took it and stood, still giggling.

"You're smiling," Selene said.

"I am not," he responded, slightly out of breath.

"Yes, you are." She reached up and touched his face. "I can see it in your eyes. You're smiling."

He leaned forward, pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard.

***

The snowfall lasted until well past midnight before it stopped. Selene was fast asleep in Snape's arms on the couch, her breathing steady and deep. In the light of the dying fire Snape studied her face; she looked comfortable and peaceful. He hardly dared to move for fear of waking her.

Her intoxicated playfulness had greatly surprised Snape. On any normal occasion he would not have tolerated it, but he'd already accepted the fact that Selene had quite an unexpected effect on him. He'd always felt so much older than he really was and hardly gave a thought to any joy in his life. But all that had changed with her.

She shifted slightly in his arms and gave a sleepy, content sigh. He relaxed comfortably on the couch and held her close.

Just as Snape was beginning to doze off, a sharp scorching sensation on his left arm jolted him awake. A message from the Dark Lord formed in his mind, beckoning him to the Astronomy Tower. The message was full of rage.

Carefully, Snape maneuvered himself from Selene and lowered her gently to the couch. She didn't even stir. He lightly caressed the side of her face, kissed her forehead, and silently stole from the room.

The halls were dark and silent as Snape made his way to the Tower. Luckily, he met no one on his way, though he'd have hardly been questioned by anyone save McGonagall. His arm burned even more as he neared the Tower. At last, he reached the entryway and climbed the ladder into the cold, open air.

A dark cloaked figure awaited him on the Tower. The figure turned to Snape, its red eyes blazing with anger.

"Severus," Voldemort began in a deadly hiss, "where is my potion?"

"It is nearly ready, my Lord," Snape replied calmly.

"How long is 'nearly ready'?" the Dark Lord snapped. "Two weeks? Another month? I required it nearly two months ago!"

"Three days, my Lord," Snape said. "It will be ready in three days."

The Dark Lord said nothing for a moment, but Snape could still sense his fury. "Potter escaped me again, Severus," he whispered. "Tonight, in Godric's Hollow. I was so very close to getting him and he escaped. He must have foreseen my plans." He stepped closer to Snape. "If you had not been so caught up with that Blackwood woman, I might have gotten my potion and killed Potter tonight. I expected better of you, Severus."

***

Selene awoke to the bright sunlight shining through her window. She felt groggy and out of sorts, and when she sat up her head began to immediately pound. She fell back onto the couch with a groan.

_The only wicked thing about elf-wine is the hangovers_, she thought.

After a few moments, she finally managed to sit up. She found she was alone and checked her watch. It was just past ten o'clock in the morning.

It didn't surprise her that Snape hadn't stayed; he did have work to do, after all. But she'd been a bit hopeful anyway and was slightly disappointed.

She washed and dressed, then made herself some tea. Her eyes fell upon the gift from her parents. With a sigh of resignation, she removed the wrapping and opened the box. Inside the velvet-lined box was a beautifully crafted silver filigree necklace with cascading drops of moonstone. She took the necklace from the box and held it to the light, allowing the moonstones to reflect their rainbow color. Her mother had fine taste in jewelry, she had to admit. She placed the necklace delicately back in the box and left it on the table.

Selene rubbed her temples. Her head still ached terribly, even after a spoonful of chamomile syrup. She silently reprimanded herself for drinking so much of the elf-wine, especially when it turned out to be quite a potent bottle. At this rate, it would be pointless for her to try and accomplish any of her work; she couldn't even force herself to concentrate on a single thought.

Instead, she prepared a cold compress and reclined back onto the couch, pressing the cloth to her forehead. Immediately, it began to soothe the throbbing. Her mind began to relax, floating into nothingness…

_Warm sunshine. Surrounded by trees in the midst of summer. The birds chirping their lovely songs to themselves._

_A shadow behind her as she plays. Hard, rough hands grabbing her, pushing her down. Crying for help, begging not to be hurt. The pain, as if she were on fire…_

_Then, his hands around her neck, crushing her. She couldn't breathe, she was fading into blackness…_

Selene woke up with a shriek. Her face and neck dripped with sweat. Gagging, she rushed to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet.

The nightmare had been incredibly vivid, almost real. She hadn't experienced such a nightmare in many years. It made her long for the comfort of her potion, that numb oblivion that had protected her. She still had the ingredients; it wouldn't take long to brew it.

_No_. As tempted as she was, she couldn't. She'd already stopped running and there was no possible way to start running again. She had to face this, no matter what.

Selene rinsed her mouth clean and splashed cold water on her face. After toweling herself dry, she returned to her room and began sorting through her things in order to keep her mind distracted. As she stacked and organized the spell books in her trunk, she found one that she had not yet returned to the library. Holding the book under her arm, she left her room and turned in the direction of the library.

As Selene descended a staircase and turned down the hall, she nearly ran into Snape.

"Sev—Professor," she quickly corrected.

"Miss Blackwood," he returned coolly. "Perhaps you should be more careful as to where you are walking."

His black eyes searched hers intently. It was clear he could sense something was wrong.

"Excuse me, then," she said, keeping her voice steady. "I was just on my way to return this book to the library."

"Which reminds me that you have also left several books in my office as well," Snape said. "As I am certainly not your housekeeper, I suggest you come back for them and return them yourself."

Selene nodded. "Of course."

As he moved passed her for the stairs, she felt his hand lightly brush hers.

Selene took a deep, calming breath and continued to the library.

Not surprisingly, Madame Pince gave her an unpleasant look while she meticulously inspected the spell book for damage. Once it passed her inspection, she bade Selene good day and resumed her cataloguing.

Selene purposefully kept her pace slow as she headed for Snape's office. So long as she kept calm, she thought, she wouldn't lose control.

She knocked on the oak door and entered before she received an answer. Snape was at his desk, writing on a roll of parchment. He looked up.

"I'm here for the books I left behind," Selene said as she closed the door.

Snape rose from his chair and walked towards her. "There are none," he told her quietly. "I returned them already."

"Then why did you tell me to come here?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do I now need a reason to want to see you?" he responded. "I would have asked you here even if something wasn't wrong."

"Who ever said that anything was wrong?"

Snape folded his arms. "Even for all your skill at Occlumency, you are a terrible liar, Selene."

Selene gave him a small smile. "Perhaps I truly don't want to lie to you, then." She sighed. "It's nothing, I just…had a nightmare this morning." She was thankful he knew enough to not force her to explain.

"I'm sure it's unnecessary for me to ask such an obvious question," Snape began, "but are you all right?"

She nodded. "Yes. I suppose I'm just not used to having them again, that's all."

"No one should be." He took hold of her hand and held it firmly in his.

***

Later that night, Snape returned to his office. Dumbledore's portrait was waiting patiently for him.

"He needs the Sword, Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Is he still in the Forest of Dean?" Snape asked.

The portrait nodded.

Snape took his wand from his sleeve and prepared to cast a Patronus—his way to lead Harry Potter to the Sword of Gryffindor.

Dumbledore hesitated a moment before he spoke. "It's been some time since you've cast a Patronus, Severus," he said slowly. "Are you sure it will have a strong enough form to lead Harry?"

Snape glanced at the portrait, his eyebrow raised. "I'm certain," he said, barely concealing his annoyance at the former Headmaster's sudden doubt.

In the back of his mind, however, he knew Dumbledore had a point. His Patronus had never clearly defined itself; it had always been a distorted, animal-like shape. Yet at this point, it was the best he could do, aside from sticking up a posted sign in the middle of the Forest of Dean that read, "_Here is the Sword of Gryffindor_."

_Though for Potter, that'd probably be the only way he could find it,_ Snape thought sardonically.

He searched his thoughts for a happy memory. They were quite rare, which more than likely explained his Patronus' lack of form. Within seconds, however, he thought of Selene, his only source of happiness. Her silken hair through his fingers. Her ethereal silver-blue eyes. The way she felt in his arms when he held her, when he kissed her…

"_Expecto Patronum_," he declared.

Immediately, a silver-white form sprung from the tip of his wand. He stared at it, shocked.

It was a doe.

***

They spent as much time together as they could that day and the next—the last two days that Selene would spend at Hogwarts. Both nights Snape visited Selene in her room and they shared dinner together and afterwards reclined on the couch, sometimes talking, sometimes not. Both nights Selene wished he would stay with her, but never mustered the courage to voice it.

Finally, the third day came. It was early in the afternoon when Selene met Snape in the dungeon just as he was pouring the finished potion into a vial. He stared at the midnight-blue liquid and sighed deeply.

"We're to be at the Manor within the hour," he told her. His voice was bereft of emotion. "I expect the Dark Lord will want to speak to you about whatever he has planned next for you."

"I had rather hoped that after this potion was finished he would no longer require me in his services," Selene said. "A naïve presumption, of course."

"Unfortunately, yes," Snape agreed, "but I must admit that I had rather hoped the same myself." His gaze held hers. "You didn't choose this."

"No, I didn't," Selene said. "But I didn't fight it, either."

"Would you have?"

She thought for a moment before she responded. "No," she said finally. "Because then I wouldn't have you."

Snape stared at her, unsure of how to respond.

"Now, however," Selene continued, "I will fight. Before, it made little difference to me. Even though our world still has a great number of faults to amend, it's still better than the terror the Dark Lord would bring, not only to wizards but Muggles as well. And to let him take over without doing a single thing to resist—well, I'd be just as guilty as those who willingly helped him."

"What will you do, then?" Snape asked.

Selene smiled. "It doesn't matter. I'm clever. Whatever he plans for me I'll turn against him." Her smile faded when she saw the look on Snape's face. "Are you worried for me?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied hoarsely.

"I'm just as worried about you."

Snape made a derisive noise. "I think we both know that any concern for me is wasted effort—"

"Severus." The firmness in her tone cut him short. Her eyes gleamed with luminous intensity. "Stop, please."

He slipped the potion into the pocket of his robes. "We should leave for the Manor."

Selene didn't say another word to him. They traveled to Hogsmeade in silence, an unspoken tension between them. She knew that Snape truly believed he would not last the war, and even if he did, he'd only be imprisoned or killed thereafter. As much as she hated to admit it, he was probably right.

But no matter what the cost, she wouldn't let it happen. She'd already suffered enough loss in her life.

They Disapparated and arrived at Malfoy Manor. Selene remained utterly calm, despite the uneasy sensation in her stomach. Snape walked just ahead of her along the path, then opened the main door and held it for her. As he closed it, Selene went ahead and pushed open the door to the drawing room, where Lord Voldemort awaited them.

"Good day, Miss Blackwood," the Dark Lord greeted.

"Good day, my Lord," Selene returned.

Snape entered the room and shut the door. He approached the Dark Lord, reached into his robes, and pulled out the vial.

"Your potion, my Lord," he said.

Voldemort took the vial from Snape's hand. Selene could detect the Dark Lord's masked anger as he examined the potion just as he had done with Selene's potion before. Within moments he drank the potion and threw the vial into the fire.

"My thanks to you both," the Dark Lord said, "though I would have certainly preferred the potion a great deal sooner than this. But no matter, it still meets my satisfaction."

He beckoned to Selene. "Miss Blackwood, approach me. Leave us, Severus," he directed to Snape. "I need to speak to Miss Blackwood privately."

Snape gave a brief nod and departed. He did not look at Selene.

Selene seated herself in the chair next to the Dark Lord. His red eyes bore into hers and she could feel him using his Legilimency against her.

"I offered you the Dark Mark not long ago, Miss Blackwood," he began. "You never gave an answer."

"Given the unexpected length of time it took to create your potion and your recent displeasure with me, I had not realized you still offered it, my Lord," Selene replied.

"I do still offer it," he said. "Aside from the necessary lesson I was forced to give several weeks ago, you still have displayed to me your utmost loyalty." He took out a wand from the sleeve of his robe. "If you wish, then you shall have the Mark."

"I would be honored, my Lord," Selene spoke quietly, pretending to be deferential while she hid her shaking voice.

Yet to her surprise, the Dark Lord put the wand back in the sleeve of his robe. He seemed satisfied.

"You shall have the Dark Mark," he told her, "after the completion of this next mission."

Selene looked at Voldemort, feigning bewilderment. "My Lord?"

He gave her a knowing smile, his lips spread thin across his snakelike face. "My rule over Great Britain is nearly complete, Miss Blackwood," he said. "The changes we make will set a precedent for Wizarding communities around the world.

"I've already begun organizing my followers in numerous other countries, such as your parents," he continued. "I have been cautious with my movements, but I have decided to make a more bold advancement. Since the death of Albus Dumbledore, the International Confederation of Wizards has yet to elect a new Supreme Mugwump. I have heard that they plan to do so within the month. I want you, Miss Blackwood, to secure a job close to the new Supreme Mugwump and work within the Confederation as my spy."

For a brief moment Selene was speechless. "This is unexpected, my Lord," she said slowly. "I must admit I have no prior experience working as a spy."

"I am well aware of that, Miss Blackwood. I've already made arrangements with another one of my spies in Amsterdam to work with you, as a supervisor of sorts. He'll be able to guide you through the security measures within the Confederation, as well as any suspicions that might be aroused."

Selene nodded; inwardly she despaired at the thought. Working as a spy within the International Confederation of Wizards was more than just dangerous, it would mean certain imprisonment—or even execution—as a traitor if she was caught. Now she understood why Voldemort refrained from giving her the Dark Mark. It would have been impossible to hide.

"I've also arranged for your lodgings in Amsterdam. You're expected to arrive no later than ten o'clock tomorrow."

***

Selene Apparated from Malfoy Manor to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. The sun had already begun to set, leaving the winter sky a pale iron grey. Before she continued along the path, she stood and gazed out at Hogwarts and its landscape; her exhaled breath formed clouds in the cold air. The scene before her was unexpectedly beautiful, the way the fading light fell upon the castle walls and towers, the sparkling snow on the grounds, the way the frozen lake reflected the sun's rays like a mirror. She recalled when, only several months ago, she'd first arrived and looked upon Hogwarts as a prison. Now, she was being forced to leave a place that had almost become home.

She was being forced to leave the man she loved.

With a deep breath, Selene followed the path to Hogwarts for what would probably be the last time. Once within the castle, she moved silently through its halls, speaking to no one. Students passed by, heading to the Great Hall for the evening meal, but hardly any of them seemed to notice her. She traveled the numerous staircases and halls until she reached the Headmaster's Tower on the seventh floor.

"Moonflower," she told the gargoyle, her voice barely above a whisper. It swung aside and revealed the moving staircase. She ascended the stairs to the large oak door. After a moment's pause, in which she gathered her strength, she knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Selene walked into the office and closed the door behind her. The room was dark and quiet; she noticed that none of the portraits displayed their inhabitants, only empty frames. Snape was standing before the fireplace, his hands clasped behind his back. He didn't even glance at her but stared into the fire.

She removed her traveling cloak, laid it on the back of a chair, then went to Snape's side. For several moments they did not speak; the only sound in the room was the crackling of the burning wood.

"It would be best if we ended it now," he said at last. "I won't have you bound to me."

"No," Selene refused quietly. "I won't have you do that. Unless," she added, her voice slightly strained, "you no longer want me."

Snape finally turned to look at her. His face was completely void of expression, save for his eyes, which glittered as they gazed into hers. Despite his many years of living in deception, as well as all the craft and cunning he possessed, this was one lie he could not stand to tell. Though he'd meant to end it for her sake, he could not bear the thought of telling Selene that he didn't want her, that he didn't love her. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but at that moment he did not care.

He gently touched her cheek. "I still want you," he murmured.

"Then stop trying to get rid of me for my sake," Selene told him. "I know the possible consequences of this. I don't need to be saved or protected from them. If you want me, then I'm yours."

Snape saw in her silver-blue eyes that she meant every word. He could not think of anything to say, let alone argue with her.

"What does he want you to do?" he asked.

"I'm to go to Amsterdam," Selene told him, "and work as a spy in the International Confederation of Wizards."

She saw Snape's jaw tighten at the news, but he did not respond.

"I'm expected there by ten o'clock tomorrow morning," she continued softly. "I'm going to be working with another of the Dark Lord's spies."

"In other words, he plans to monitor your every move," Snape concluded.

She gave a heavy sigh. "More than likely."

"Seeing each other will be out of the question."

"We can still write to one another."

Snape shook his head. "They would too easily be intercepted, even if we did charm them to hide their contents."

"You're not exactly making this easy, are you?"

"No one ever said it would be."

***

Selene rose early from her bed the following morning, though she'd hardly slept at all. She'd stayed with Snape late that night, wanting to prolong every moment she was with him, but finally forced herself to leave. Yet she'd seen the look in his eyes as he kissed her good night and she'd had to quell the desire that coursed through her blood. Afterwards, she'd lay in bed, unable to sleep, wishing she had chosen to stay with him, but knowing that if she had, the parting would have been all the more bitter.

Her belongings were already packed in her trunk and the room returned to its original state before Selene had first arrived at Hogwarts. She gazed out through her window over the grounds, watching the sunrise. Streams of tears flowed unbidden down her cheeks.

Selene could hardly believe that so much had changed in four months. Her entire life had changed. For the first time she felt warm and alive, not cold, numb, and lifeless. Though it came with the great price of the unavoidable pain of her past, it was worth the suffering to feel love.

She heard a knocking at the door.

"Come in," she replied, wiping away her tears.

The door opened and closed, but Selene did not turn to face him. She then felt Snape's warm, familiar arms embrace her around her waist and hold her close. After a few moments, she turned, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him tenderly.

"Are you ready?" he asked her.

"No." She gave him a weak smile and sighed.

"Selene, I—" Snape stopped short and, as much as he tried, could not think of the proper words to continue. However, Selene nodded knowingly and kissed him again.

Finally, she enchanted her trunk and the two walked to Snape's office. When they arrived, Selene found Dumbledore's portrait within its frame, smiling at her kindly. She returned the smile.

With a wave of her wand, she shifted her trunk and set it down by the fireplace. Snape took a small jar from the mantle and tossed a handful of glittering Floo powder into the fire. The flames blazed and turned emerald green.

"Good luck, Miss Blackwood," Dumbledore said.

"Thank you," she replied.

Selene placed her trunk in the hearth and turned to Snape for the final time before she stepped into the flames. His expression was dark and unreadable.

"Be careful, Selene," he told her quietly.

"I will." A brief moment passed before she stepped towards him and fervently pressed her lips to his one last time. Then, she strode into the flames and, her eyes never leaving his, said clearly, "The Nightwatch Inn."

Snape released a shuddering sigh as Selene disappeared in a burst of green flames.


End file.
